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Suicidal Girlfriend, stressed and scared

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Gnosis, Dec 17, 2009.

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  1. Gnosis

    Gnosis New Member

    My Girlfriend of seven months is going through a tough time,

    she has had mental health problems and suicidal moods all her life and presently things are very tough,

    she has two kids who she home-teaches, they are both autistic and quite wild, the father was abusive and has not been around for years. She had a rough time with her abusive past. She is being checked on by social services to try and get the kids into school, this is very disrtessing as they poke around the house, interogate her, privacy is really important to her and she finds it really distressing. They say that she does not do enough to socialize them, but she takes them to all the home teaching groups, and they cant cope cause of autism, theres not enough help for them.

    As a result of things being so hard she often has suicidal times. Because she is so solitary and asperger-ish she does not have many close friends and i often worry its just me and her mother she really depends on. That is hard, not having other people who know her to turn to for help.

    Also, when she is down and stressed, she is often grumpy and snappy and annoys me and starts fights. I often feel drained from talking to her on the phone in those times (I live with my parents when I'm not with her, we dont live together as we havent sorted out benefits). I feel like angry from how snappy she is, then i argue back, and she can't cope as she is weak and tired and having a hard time, and then i feel like shit for fighting and making things worse for her. The good thing to do would be to let her be snappy and grumpy and just not let it effect me at those times, but its hard. She has PTSD and i often worry her abusive relationships have made her want to be agressive to me.

    She always seems to have lots of love for me when shes happy and then have no love when shes down, though she still wants me around to talk to at those times, and it makes me feel uneasy when she is loving and happy. anyway thanks for reading.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2009
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    There are many support services and groups for children with ASD and their parents. If your friend lives in the US, she is welcome to register and PM me and maybe I can make some suggestions...she is very fortunate to have a friend like you...J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your girlfriend children could benefit from some professional help as i am sure it is out there for them It would give your girlfriend some respite from the stress looking after autistic children is very hard. I think she should look into getting help as it would take the burden off her and let her live a bit more.
  4. Gnosis

    Gnosis New Member

    she knows all there is and is getting the help there is, but its still hard.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I have been working with children and adults on the Spectrum for about 30 yrs and learn something virtually each session...as 'she knows all there is..." I rescind my offer...best of luck to both of you...J
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Is she being treated? Medication and/or therapy can make a huge difference.
  7. TaraB3ar

    TaraB3ar Well-Known Member

    Your girlfriend sounds a bit like my ex boyfriend. When he was going through a hard time he would lash out at me too. You have to tell her that that's not ok. You cannot be her punching bag whenever she goes through a hard time. However, make sure you tell her you're there for her. Whenever she treats you that way stay with her, talk with her, but let her know she cant treat you that way. (...sorry reading that back it sounds rather bossy,its your relationship, I would just recommend what i said because you deserve to be treated well.) Also, I dont know if this will work for you but when my ex would get to the point of being suicidal during hard times I would always repeat 'you die I die' to let him know i was there with him and also so he could realize how it feels for other people. (since she certainly wouldn't want you to die) However you decide to get through this with her I wish you the best! she is lucky to have you!
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