Suicidal Girlfriend

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by humantohuman, Sep 4, 2009.

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  1. humantohuman

    humantohuman New Member

    My girlfriend and I are in a very complicated situation. Due to financial difficulties we were forced to move in with my parents two months ago. Previously we were going to college and living in Chicago together, however we were unable to graduate before we ended up running out of the sufficient funds to continue living there.
    Neither of us wanted to leave Chicago but we unfortunately had no choice. Our lifestyle living with my parents quickly became monotonous and depressing. My girlfriend does not feel comfortable with my parents and tries her best to avoid them. This means that we'd leave the house about an hour before they arrived home from work and not return until 1 or 2 in the morning. We have been unable to find a job in the last 2 months and have had to rely solely on my parents. Neither of us, especially her, seem to want to better ourselves and get back on our feet financially. Her parents recently moved into a new apartment without an extra bedroom for us to stay, thus further making her feel more depressed and helpless.
    My parents are being very supportive of me and always doing their best to be there for both of us. However, my girlfriend still resents them for bringing us back here. We have been thinking about going back to school, but my girlfriend is very unconfident about her appearance even though she is beautiful. She lacks any kind of self esteem whatsoever.
    I think she is bipolar, as her mood never seems to be stable. She had been on my case lately about how she has no faith in me, even though I have been trying my hardest to get a job. She has been really hard on me and very mean and verbally abusive at points, but at other times she apologizes for her actions. In fact, just last night she told me she was sorry for the way she'd been acting lately. Then, all of the sudden, today she seemed even worse than usual, as she screamed at me over something really mundane.
    Not long afterwards, I caught her trying to take a large amount of sleeping pills and luckily I was able to slap her back so that she spit them out before swallowing. I really want to get her help, and I want to see her happy more than anything. I am not sure if we can make it through this relationship together, and I think we both have some things to sort out on our own. Neither of us have health insurance, but I would love for her to be able to see a doctor and perhaps go on medication. I genuinely love this woman but this whole situation is very difficult for both of us and I am searching for any answers I can get right now. Thank you for reading and replying.
     
  2. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Out of personal experience I would say just comfort her in any way you can. This actually happened to me. My boyfriend and I were together almost two years. We broke up due to my depression and suicidal thoughts/feelings. He ignored me and when I started drifting away due to my depression he got mad and blamed me for him having a horrible summer.

    Just be there for her. Does she have a doctor? Sorry I don't know if you said that or not. If you need someone to talk to, I've been in the situation.
     
  3. TheEndMan

    TheEndMan Account Closed

    Although it would probably bring more pain in the short term, I think taking a break from each other for a while and going your separate ways might help. My thinking here is that you and your girlfriend each seem to have your own separate problems and being together is complicating things. Especially because your girlfriend has to stay with your parents--judging by this, I'd say she's very proud and that being unable to A) live on her own and/or complete college, B) stay attached to her own parents, and C) find a significant other that is "secure" in her eyes--having a job seems to be important to her--her ego has been damaged for the worse. Of course, I could be totally wrong. Either way, you both seem to be dependent on each other when neither of you are in a position to support anybody, much less yourselves.

    That's why I suggesting taking some time off and some time apart. Once you both have become self-sufficient (or relatively so), I think only then should you discuss getting back together.

    But that's unrealistic. You seem to really care for your girlfriend, humantohuman. My guess is separation is not an option. In that case, yeah, find a job and keep an eye on her and move out as soon as possible. If she really starts to become suicidal, and you don't have insurance, (this may sound terrible but) if something goes wrong and she ends up in the hospital, call her parents. In all honesty, she's their responsibility first.

    I hope I helped and I hope you get things straightened out. Best of luck.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The best thing you could do for her is get her professional help. Being supportive is one thing but she needs professional help before she does do something permanent get her help now call crisis next time she does something like that She needs to be held accountable for her actions Is she is truly suicidal then get her help.
     
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