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suicidal girlfriend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TonyTiger68, Dec 9, 2009.

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  1. TonyTiger68

    TonyTiger68 New Member


    I was hoping to get some advice from someone that may have dealt with a suicidal friend or loved one before.

    My girlfriend has been extremely depressed over the last three weeks. She suffers from depression and bi-polar disorder, but takes medication, and normally feels pretty good. Due to health insurance difficulties, she has had to change her anti-depressant medication. She has tried two new different medications over the last couple months, but neither one has really worked, so for the last week she is now back on the original medication. I know that these take a while to take effect sometimes, so maybe that explains her deeply depressed state of mind, but I don't really know. She has a doctor appointment coming up soon, and she just met with a therapist for the first time yesterday.

    We are in a long-distance relationship, and I try to be as supportive as possible on the phone. I am always available to talk to her and listen to her, to comfort her, and to cheer her up as much as possible. I remind her of our plans to see each other soon. But her condition is extremely bad (it's gotten worse over the last couple of days), and I am really starting to worry that she is at risk for suicide based on the things she says. I have asked for advice from a friend, and I talked to a person at a suicide hotline, asking about the best way to deal with this (the latter wasn't much help, actually). I also talked to one of her roommates and asked her to keep an eye on my girlfriend.

    It is now getting to the point that I am considering notifying her family about her condition. This one is really difficult for me, because I feel like I would be betraying her. She doesn't want her family to know, because she fears that her family will make her move back with them (to another state) which she thinks would make things even worse for her. I am terrified of making things even more painful for her, but at the same time I think she needs the family support. I am very torn. I have already written a detailed e-mail to her family, and now I'm trying to decide whether to send it.

    If you have any advice, especially if you have dealt with a similar situation, please let me know your thoughts.

    Thank you.
  2. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    I advice to not send the mail to her family cos maybe she have another thing she hide from you about why she dont like to be with her family...i wish you just be with her, suport her ...and maybe advice her to see another dr. to help her...anyway its just what i think
  3. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    I think if you truly believe she is in danger, and she is beyond helping herself that you should step in. But unfortunately you're the only one who can make that decision. The initial reaction might be rough, but I do believe as she gets better she'll appreciate what you've done for her.

    But definitely talk to her first. And don't be afraid to talk directly about suicide. Ask her if she thought about it, but be patient and stay as calm as you can. Beyond that I don't really know what else to say. My father was/is suicidal from time to time, and I know how tough it is to bring the subject up to that person. But you'll regret doing nothing much more than doing something.

    Keep us posted on what you decide to do, and feel free to pm me if you'd like.

    All the best for you and your girlfriend!

  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Tony, and welcome...I would make a contract with her telling her that she is to remain safe and if she is acting in a manner that she is dangerous to herself and/or others, that you must have her family and you intervene...her safety and well being are the ultimate thresholds and only you can tell when she has reached this point...all the best, J
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