Suicidal homicide.

[Green.Triceratops]

I've thought about this for some time and wasnt going to say anything because i know its totally crazy however logical i think it is.

My dad xxxx I touched it tonight. xxxxxxxxxxx Far too messy to use in my own home - that would scar my family for life.

This is what i would use. I thought, in order to spare my parents the guilt and grief of my suicide, xxxxxx My brothers can live i suppose - they'd get life insurance payments. Maybe i should just kill everyone, dogs and all?

Disclaimer: I have NO intention of harming myself or others currently. These are purely thoughts.

No one else thinks these things im sure. I just dont care. Its nice to say these things somewhere else than my mind. I dont want to kill them... xxxxxxxxx

 

[DeadGirl92]

Hi Green.Triceratops....

I understand that you think your suicide would hurt your family... Of course it would, if they love you.

But do you really think killing them is better? Just try and follow my thoughts... Best for them would be if you get better of course. But if you commit suicide: Your parents are adults. They can decide whether they want to live on after your death or not. Also, you have siblings. Don't your parents love your brothers? They still want to be there for them, and they are still a family... If you kill everyone, you take their chances for a life away. Your brothers are young, and your parents are long not dead... Or, if only your brothers survive, you leave them emotionally scarred for life, by having lost their parents and brother in such a terrible incident.

This is not to say you are a bad person. You are just desperate. I hope you won't commit suicide but get better. Still, even if you decide to commit suicide.... it would make things worse if you took someone with you?

Please don't get me wrong... I'm not one of those persons who can't understand what you're going through and still tells you what is right and wrong. I never had thoughts of hurting anyone else. Still, I know your feelings. In my case, there is a very small "family". There are my divorced parents, and no one else, no siblings, no grandparents, no one. My mother depends on me, 100%. She can only live her life through me. Can hardly do anything that isn't about me, doesn't have hobbies, friends, relationship, interest whatever. And my father has gone through hell for 17 years without me knowing - now being free and living with his girlfriend is his last chance. My suicide would destroy what is left...

See, I know those feelings.... You want to die but can't, you want to cut the hell out of yourself but can't... All these things. And yes, it makes you feel completely helpless. You might think life isn't an option, and not even death is an option. And though being a girl (does this make a difference?) and having other reasons (at least I think so) I understand your feelings in your self harm threads.

Feel free to pm me, okay?

I really hope you find a way to get better.

 

[Nebula]

I have limited empathy for my family, particularly parents. I never asked to exist and haven't enjoyed the experience. I see no reason whatsoever to feel guilty about checking out. If their possessive attachment to me causes grief, that's not my problem.

 

[may71]

I think that it is your right to choose death even if that is objectively a bad choice. It's not your right to choose death for other people, and for your dogs, though.

Certainly, if you have a good, loving family, it would hurt them if you killed yourself. It would be even worse if you killed them though.

Maybe your desire to kill them comes from some anger toward them that you are not acknowledging?

are you in therapy now?

 

[Green.Triceratops]

Moderators cut all the good bits out of my post >.<

Hardly makes sense at all.

Anyhow i think i understand everything in the replys except the bit about pain. Not sure what that is.

I am not in therapy. Though i suspect from that question that i should be.

I dont know your situation with your parents and whether you are close to them, but mine have been about as good as it gets.

I was never beaten or abused or neglected, they took care of me and my two brothers well. They're just a little misguided is all. They didnt have a parent handbook so they did what they thought was best.

I see what you mean deadgirl, they do have free will. I never thought of this before. They can choose life or death after i am gone. They are adults. I didnt wanna kill my dogs anyway. I happen to love them. So... They get to live? For now.

 

[Dave_N]

Please don't kill yourself or your family. Get help instead.

 

[Green.Triceratops]

I know youre serious but you made me giggle dave n. I cant right now because theres things i need to do if i Am going to have a future.

Getting set up to go to college which should be a good change for me. I plan on getting set up with a counselor once im attending, and seeing if there are supports in place for those who have trouble with coming to school.

I failed my senior year of highschool because i didnt attend enough days
(i went maybe half of the year if that) even though my grades were almost always the top of my class.

 

[Dave_N]

Glad that I was able to give you a bit of a giggle. Good luck with College. :smile: