Suicidal ideation

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Nobodydifferent, Dec 8, 2015.

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  1. Nobodydifferent

    Nobodydifferent Well-Known Member

    I said in my first post ( I don't know how these work if all of our post can be followed or not ??) but basically some girls fantasize about there dream man or being rich .. Me I just wanna die ! A tree fall on my head .. Train hit me and on my most selfish days I've said thing like I wish I had cancer ! I know better I don't wish I had cancer and I should be ashamed of my self for saying things like that , but it's like dying dignified would be ok ! A gun to my head (my fathers choice) then everyone hates you .. Including me .. I hate him .. Yet I am jealous of him cause I wish I could care about no one but myself and just do what he did !

    These thoughts won't go away I don't know if they can .. I don't even know if I want them to .. Maybe I can think myself to death .. And the I wonder if I'm even sane ?

    My therapist mentioned going to a hospital today .. I just don't know what they could do for me ?
     
  2. Modo

    Modo Member

    I know exactly what you mean about "dying dignified." I have a lot of these same thoughts myself. It seems ridiculous that all the young men and women killed drinking and driving are idolized. It's tragedy then. But when myself or my brother attempt suicide we are cowards and we "chose not to be happy." I hope you manage to beat your illness. It would be a tragedy to see you go, no matter how it happened. You may want to consider the hospitalization. It helps some. All we can do is try to make it one more day.
     
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