Suicidal Jerks

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Patch, Apr 1, 2008.

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  1. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    sry I had no idea where the heck to post this....anyway,

    Anyone can be depressed...including jerks. So are we allowed to call them on it? Is it considered *triggering*? Sometimes I come across something so ignorant/mean/selfish, it just makes my blood boil. But what the heck is the etiquette here? Do they get a free pass on life because they're depressed? I really don't think they should, I think thats just plain stupid. They can't get away with being self-centred because they're hurting....can they? I mean we're all going through shit, thats why we're here. Anyone who says its 'triggering' to be criticized...well, tough shit. Thats what i think, anyway. What do you guys think?
  2. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes, some people can be seen as very tiresome and insincere perhaps. But since this IS a support forum for depressed/mentally ill/suicidal people I try not to come off too harshly as I do'nt want to think that my actions/words pushed anyone over the edge. But if the actions/words of some are driving you nuts, just avoid or ignore those posts! :wink:
  3. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    this is why it makes it hard to moderate the forum, on one hand we understand people here are hurting, and may say things they dont mean or may regret once they feel a little better, but on the other hand everyone else is hurting and (without meaning to sound patronising) we need to protect them (and ourselves) too. We do have a rule which says that being suicidal doesnt give you the right to act how you want, which i hope people understand means they should act nice, and not take their bad mood out on other members

    but of course when you feel crap it can be hard to control what you say (i know i can be horrible when im at my worst). if you ever see something posted which you think goes too far, you can let staff know, either by PMing one or reporting the post (clicking the triangle with the ! in it above the post). we do our best to keep things civil here, but we cant read every post so your help is appreciated :smile:
  4. Damn! I've been here for 2 years and I NEVER knew what the "!" was for!!!

    Thanks!! :biggrin:
  5. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    Its easy to say we should avoid the posts that bother us, but its not like people are going to put up "Warning, I'm a Jerk" on their post, you know? And I understand that its a support forum, but I can't support cruel actions...and nor can I ignore them. It doesn't feel right to me. Thanks for your input, guys :smile:
  6. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    :laugh: lmao, that made my day
  7. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know it's easy to say to avoid posts that annoy us, but to be honest, I try to err on the side of kindness and caution. I may never know what effect my posts may have on others posting here but I'd rather be too nice, rather than too mean, in case the poster is really disturbed and not thinking straight. Not to mention, I know how I feel when I'm at my most fragile and I tend in those situations to take things too personally or just the 'wrong way'. I wouldn't want anyone being hateful or cold hearted to me, either accidentally or on purpose, so I try not to be that way to others. Besides, it doesnt hurt me one bit to be too nice! WHereas being too mean WOULD hurt me, if not others.

    I didn't always feel this way. It took 56 years of living to finally feel this way! and no, I'm not perfect, I'm often too mean (according to my own standards) in situations and then feel bad afterward. Anyway, when push comes to shove, I'd rather have people say about me (after I'm gone) "she was too nice", rather than the opposite!:biggrin:
  8. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Agrees with theleastofthese. Actually reminds me of a good quote:

    In other words, treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. I know when I'm at my worst, the last thing I want is someone calling me a "jerk" or w/e, even though I'll admit I do tend to take it out on my friends & family whenever I'm in a bad mood, but that still doesn't make it right. So whenever I see someone in trouble I try to be as nice and as reassuring as possible, as I would expect them to do the same for me.
  9. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    The way I see it is that if someone is clearly out of control of themselves, I have the advantage of being the one who has at least some measure of control over my behavior. I try to have enough self-control not to respond to them in a way that won't solve anything. Just because they're losing it doesn't mean I have to.

    It doesn't hurt anything to try and be understanding as long as you know the other person is genuinely hurting and isn't just some fool with some kind of agenda.
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I dont think anyone regardless of how hurt they are, has the right to blatantly attack or hurt other members. When you join, the rules are posted and pretty straight forward. It states that because you are suicidal does not give you the right to take that out on others. But in the same token, other members do not have the right to add to anothers dispair. Use some restraint no matter what side of the fence you may be sitting on.
  11. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    'Jerk' will always be subjective. Maybe some people think you are a jerk? Maybe they think all of my posts are jerky? Who knows. Particular forums are for debates, and I if someone chooses to post there I see no problem with calling them out.

    But the other forums which are purely designed for support .. in there, it's noones place to be judgemental IMO.
  12. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    I guess i wasn't totaly clear..I have never attacked anyone, nor do I plan to. I really don't think its being mean to say, "hey, saying that was rude".
  13. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    Apparently saying someone hurt you is also considered rude!! Uggg!!!
  14. gag

    gag Well-Known Member


    I try to be on my best behavior here, but I'll be the first to admit I'd fall under the category of jerk alot of times, I get mood swings that make me downright bitter.

    And on a personal level, I'd rather be told straight, I don't want someone to tell me I'm a nice guy and whatnot when in their head they're really saying "What a f'ing douchebag". I've never been a fan of sugarcoating anything, with the exception of honey glazed donuts.
  15. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    haha, apparently
  16. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    lmao, for your line there :laugh: but, yea, I agree.
  17. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I agree.
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