Suicidal not depressed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Danialla, Sep 9, 2014.

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  1. Danialla

    Danialla Well-Known Member

    Can you be suicidal but not feel depressed? I constantly fight the suicidal thoughts, but can't honestly say I am depressed. I may have lack of feeling, but not depression. I don't cry. I guess you could say I feel nothing, which isn't really good for a suicidal person to experience. Anyone else just feel nothing and still fight suicidal thoughts?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i do believe that deep depression you do not feel anything you just exist really i do hpe you can talk to your doctor and get a proper diagnosis ok
  3. Danialla

    Danialla Well-Known Member

    Dr and I agree, I am not your typical depressed patient. Although I am being treated (meds, ECT, talk therapy). It still feels like I am nothing. It makes it hard to keep hanging on when that urge doesn't exist. Meanwhile I will battle back to feel again. Thank you

    Ugh, ugh, ugh!!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2014
  4. MisterBGone


    I know that there is a place that some depressed patients enter known sort of as a territory of numbness... I'm not sure if that's what you're experiencing, but I have gone there--though not in some time--& as I recall, it was not a fun time. Perhaps you could speak to your doctor about this, and they can find out if it is due to the maintenance ect, medications, or something else altogether? Best of luck to you-
  5. Nemo

    Nemo Well-Known Member

    I experience this in some of my episodes. Generally it can last for a few months but rarely more than 3 because the way I deal with it sort of springs me out of it (it's not recommended so I won't mention it here). I don't get down but the fact that I can't feel anything automatically makes my reasoning pessimistic because I see no way out of it and want to end my life. I can function at this level but it's probably when I'm most at danger to myself because I become quite irrational in my thinking.
    I hope you find a way to feel something again - I know it's such a horrible, monotonous experience. I'm sorry I can't offer any real advice, other than it is temporary. Perhaps discuss this further with your GP/PDoc and ask to readjust your medication as this can sometimes be an issue.
  6. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    Yes. Police intervened once before I could attempt suicide (it was outside on a quiet road in the early hours of the morning, but due to the rules, I cannot explain why I could not commit suicide in private). Anyway, as attempted suicide is illegal here, at least if it is not done privately, I was given an ultimatum of going to jail or going to a mental health institution. I was assessed by numerous psychiatrists, and it was determined that I was not suffering from depression and I was not put on any course of treatment, although I was forced to remain there for observation for 72 hours.

    I don't like the assumption that all suicidal people are suffering from depression, because this can lend weight to the argument that suicidal people should not be allowed to be in control of their own decisions (although I personally believe that *even* depressed people should be the owners of their lives). That's why its very important for non depressed suicidal people to stand up and be counted.
  7. Danialla

    Danialla Well-Known Member

    My pdoc strongly disagrees that I am not depressed, although we have agreed to disagree:) I currently am under going ECT and take meds. Maybe my meds need tweaking.......again. Maybe I will just wait it out. I wish I had a broken leg, then I would know just what to do:).

    Take care everyone.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi hun,

    From reading your post I think you may be feeling ''numb'' from the mix of the thoughts,ect, and meds all at once just it is just making you numb. Hopefully your psychiatrist will be able to help and get you feeling yourself again.

    Or perhaps when your meds stabilize again and the ect has ended you will be feeling much better.

    Best of luck to you. :hug:
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