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Suicidal...OCD and depression

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by me90, Oct 10, 2013.

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  1. me90

    me90 New Member

    I have suffered from the Pure-O form of OCD for 6 years. I have been hospitalised over it twice and things have got pretty bad lately.
    For those of you who don't know about Pure-O, I have obsessive and irrrational fears which make me doubt everything. Like I used to have a chronic fear of my Mum dying. For the past 5 years I have haad the fear of being a paedophile. This is very common among OCD'ers but it is truly the most terrifying thing.
    I have convinced myself I am a paedophile and therefore deserve nothing but death. Every day I feel guilty for even breathing. If I am this person, and there's no way of changing it, shouldn't I simply kill myself? I have had intrusive thoughts and feelings when around my younger siblings before and that makes me believe I have done something unforgivable by even having those thoughts/feelings. I keep thinking my life is a lie because if anyone knew they would want me dead.
    And then there are days where I think, this is just OCD. But mostly, I have convinced myself it is true.
    Please give me a reason to live.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    OCD are just thoughts you know you are not that what you think you are just thoughts soon you mind w ill go to another thought and this one will leave you alone
    If your symptoms of OCD are getting worse then you need to talk to your psych doctor and get meds adjusted ok
  3. me90

    me90 New Member

    Thank you for your reply. Ive been on every medication there is and it still hasn't worked. I am seeing the psychiatrist tomorrow but I don't think there's anything more they can do for me.
  4. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    I agree with total eclipse the ocd are just thoughts, you have to try and remember that they can't be true. Don't believe what you have convinced yourself to believe. Have you looked into cognitive behavioral therapy. It may be beneficial.
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