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suicidal scale/what is making you suicidal/what can help

Angie74

Well-Known Member
Pretty much a 4.5. And there is no help for me, unless I actually make a serious attempt. I'm just a silly, smug borderline who would never hurt herself. That's what everyone believes. Would go to a hospital if I thought there was any hope of anyone actually listening. Not a chance in hell.
 

1964dodge

When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
Pretty much a 4.5. And there is no help for me, unless I actually make a serious attempt. I'm just a silly, smug borderline who would never hurt herself. That's what everyone believes. Would go to a hospital if I thought there was any hope of anyone actually listening. Not a chance in hell.
try if you are that high or call a crises line. make them believe you....mike....*console*sadhug
 

Cryptic_Mind

Well-Known Member
Pretty much a 4.5. And there is no help for me, unless I actually make a serious attempt. I'm just a silly, smug borderline who would never hurt herself. That's what everyone believes. Would go to a hospital if I thought there was any hope of anyone actually listening. Not a chance in hell.
Unfortunately I can relate to this. I was treated like that for a long while. I eventually ended up doing things like lying about how easy it would be for me to have access to method of my plan (to make it seem easier to access) and SI (for specific purpose of showing how accelerated my ideation was). I do not advocate doing either of those things but I do.advocate you get the help you know you need before you cannot. Go to the ER and insist on how suicidal you are. Talk to a crisis line. Tell your counselor - n talk like it is urgent not just a "satisfying thought", ask for help insuring you truly do not have access to your method, do things to relax yourself n distract yourself .. but above all - be sure you remain in contact with people so you are not alone. ❤
 

Angie74

Well-Known Member
Thank you for your response. I guess I can't blame anyone, as I haven't actually attempted in a long while, which just supports what they say. I hope I find the guts soon, cuz living is sheer agony.
 

kittykatt

Well-Known Member
4. this is getting serious. you are having thoughts that won't go away. you are dwelling on them suicide seems like the best alternative. don't be alone, have someone stay with you or call the crises line.

I've dealt with thoughts of committing suicide for most of my life. But they were manageable and I never even thought about acting on them. At least not until last year when I was involuntarily (and unjustifiable) hospitalized for suicide ideation. Sometimes the thoughts get so loud that I feel like I have to give into them in order to get any peace and quiet. Tonight I started getting on the NSPL hotline for veterans but when the counselor got on the line, hung up because I'm afraid that if I say too much the police may be called. And I don't want that. I'm afraid of being taken to the hospital on an involuntary/mental hold and the chances of being committed.
This is the only place where I feel like I can say what I want with no fear of being carted away.
 

kittykatt

Well-Known Member
Thank you for your response. I guess I can't blame anyone, as I haven't actually attempted in a long while, which just supports what they say. I hope I find the guts soon, cuz living is sheer agony.
I understand where you're at because sometimes I feel the same way. Right now I have things that I would like to take part in and so in a way that stops me from doing anything, but what concerns me is what am I going to do once those things are gone?
I hope you never find the guts to do it. Try and find something that interests you and that you can live for. Hope this helps.
 

Cryptic_Mind

Well-Known Member
4. this is getting serious. you are having thoughts that won't go away. you are dwelling on them suicide seems like the best alternative. don't be alone, have someone stay with you or call the crises line.

I've dealt with thoughts of committing suicide for most of my life. But they were manageable and I never even thought about acting on them. At least not until last year when I was involuntarily (and unjustifiable) hospitalized for suicide ideation. Sometimes the thoughts get so loud that I feel like I have to give into them in order to get any peace and quiet. Tonight I started getting on the NSPL hotline for veterans but when the counselor got on the line, hung up because I'm afraid that if I say too much the police may be called. And I don't want that. I'm afraid of being taken to the hospital on an involuntary/mental hold and the chances of being committed.
This is the only place where I feel like I can say what I want with no fear of being carted away.
If you are questioning if you need hospitalization and dont want to be sent in as involuntary- go to a community psych hosp and have an eval done. If they think you need hospitalization they will keep you - on a voluntary basis so you can technically leave at any point you want.
 

kittykatt

Well-Known Member
If you are questioning if you need hospitalization and dont want to be sent in as involuntary- go to a community psych hosp and have an eval done. If they think you need hospitalization they will keep you - on a voluntary basis so you can technically leave at any point you want.
Not to argue with you but in this state there are two main laws that affect the mentally ill: 66-326 and 66-329. If I were to be hospitalized on a voluntary basis and ask to leave they could keep me there at least 3 days while they do the necessary paperwork to keep me there on an involuntary basis (66-329). That's what terrifies me and keeps me from doing it.
 

kittykatt

Well-Known Member
What upsets me is that I can't really get an evaluation done that would pinpoint what is really wrong with me. If I'm mentally ill then what is the diagnosis? I've seen a therapist and the sessions only lasted 45 minutes and nothing really gets done. And when it was determined that my insurance wouldn't cover it, then I had to stop seeing her. I've seen a psychiatrist once and the session only lasted 50 minutes. Nothing really got done. There was no testing to see what my problem(s) is/are. Plus there is the $40 copay for each session. I can't really afford that.
 

shattered dreams

My scars are healed, doesnt mean the pain is gone
I feel like my life is no longer worth fighting for. my family has all but disintegrated. I live in constant pain, I don't want to be around people, I just want to be alone all the time. I don't want to continue living this way. I have been seeing a therapist every week since last May, I'm on psych meds including two antidepressants but i'm still severely depressed. The last two weeks i've been tormented with suicidal thoughts to the point of deciding how and where I will die.

I'm consumed with guilt, I have no coping skills left, I just want it to be over with already.
 

Tana

Well-Known Member
I feel like my life is no longer worth fighting for. my family has all but disintegrated. I live in constant pain, I don't want to be around people, I just want to be alone all the time. I don't want to continue living this way. I have been seeing a therapist every week since last May, I'm on psych meds including two antidepressants but i'm still severely depressed. The last two weeks i've been tormented with suicidal thoughts to the point of deciding how and where I will die.

I'm consumed with guilt, I have no coping skills left, I just want it to be over with already.
Like Gmody said, you need new meds...
Not every are right for you, and not every will work the same for different people. Tell your psych, so they can help you find the right ones.

Sometimes though, simply taking meds isn't enough. You should also try to do something else, that's helpful for you. It'll likely make you feel better.
 

1964dodge

When a 1965 Dodge just isn't enough
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
I feel like my life is no longer worth fighting for. my family has all but disintegrated. I live in constant pain, I don't want to be around people, I just want to be alone all the time. I don't want to continue living this way. I have been seeing a therapist every week since last May, I'm on psych meds including two antidepressants but i'm still severely depressed. The last two weeks i've been tormented with suicidal thoughts to the point of deciding how and where I will die.

I'm consumed with guilt, I have no coping skills left, I just want it to be over with already.
your life is always worth fighting for. I do understand the constant pain but we can live with it if we have to. keep fighting to get better pain relief and never give up. i'm sorry about your family and I do hope it gets better for you. and if the antidepressants aren't working talk to your doctor. he may be able to find something that works or increase the dosage.please don't give up always try and have hope that it will get better...mike...*console*sadhug
 

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