Suicidal & self-destructive

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tireedd, Jun 25, 2016.

  1. tireedd

    tireedd Member

    I feel like I'm losing it.I have no chance at a normal life and so my brain indulges into self-destruction.Drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, reckless shit, cutting, bruising, breaking my knuckles on walls...these seem quite sweet...there is no point to my life besides pain and "learning" lessons that aren't going to be any good to me 'cause I'll keep suffering and drowning into sorrow and anger 'till I'm dead.And it that's the case, why not dull the pain, even a little?

    The thing is, I don't want to become a wreck.I don't want to disappoint my mom.I saw what vice does to people...Death seems the most logical, relieving and peaceful solution.If a tragic suicide commited when arrived at such a terrible dead end seems peaceful to me, you can imagine at least how sinister my life is.

    Maybe that's what I'm supposed to learn, that in a situation like this you either fight with obviously false hope and end up living an ironic, tragic and dreadful existence until you die anyway or you admitt defeat and throw yourself off a building.Maybe it sounds a little nihilistic, but I don't believe every life is devoid of meaning.Maybe just mine.Maybe more lives.But I'm sure about mine.I feel SO SUICIDAL right now and so depressed I don't even have the motivation to get up and search for a high building.
  2. skizzy4325

    skizzy4325 Member

    Why exactly you have no chance at a normal life?
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Suicide is still not the answer. It will hurt your mom even more.


    You can slowly start to change your life.