I have moved a lot during my childhood, never really got to have childhood friends that are close. The first time I had close friends where in junior high, i also got bullied and bullied others in those days... Then came high school, i dropped out cause i was depressed. Now its gone 3 years and i havent worked or done anything all day long except for cutting of my friends and awaiting armageddon. Iv got myself a rifle, im awaiting the end days, dont know why i belive in it, maybe depression. Im paranoid so i always have my phone turned off, im soon 20 and still live at home. Most of the day im thinking why i havent killed myself yet, why am i putting myself thrue the torture that is my life?