Suicidal story, dont laugh at me.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by username1, Mar 22, 2007.

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  1. username1

    username1 Member

    I have moved a lot during my childhood, never really got to have childhood friends that are close.

    The first time I had close friends where in junior high, i also got bullied and bullied others in those days...

    Then came high school, i dropped out cause i was depressed.
    Now its gone 3 years and i havent worked or done anything all day long except for cutting of my friends and awaiting armageddon.
    Iv got myself a rifle, im awaiting the end days, dont know why i belive in it, maybe depression.

    Im paranoid so i always have my phone turned off, im soon 20 and still live at home.

    Most of the day im thinking why i havent killed myself yet, why am i putting myself thrue the torture that is my life?
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    first off, welcome, and I dont think that anyone is going to laugh at you for your story. I'm sorry you have been suffering for so long, have you tried any treatments, talked to any doctors etc.?

    Again welcome to the forum and you are among people that care and will try to understand.

  3. flclempire

    flclempire Well-Known Member

    by armagaedon do u mean an actually hell on earth thing or your personal armagaedon?
  4. username1

    username1 Member

    medication, i used to take it but stopped. It didnt feel real, im not a rock.

    I belive in ww3, or the comet of 2012, or alien invasion, all i know is that its gonna end.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are right in your assumption that it is all gonna end. I don't know how or when or why. No one does. Nothing in this life is guaranteed to continue on forever. Some have a long time, some a short time. All is unknown. I hope you find the strength to continue on. You said you stopped taking meds because you didn't feel real. I can understand that, but my question to you is did you feel the depression loosen it's grip at all? Could you possibly give meds another try. Maybe you had not found the right ones for you. Maybe there are some available now that weren't when you tried them before. Don't give up on yourself. Keep searching for options. Try to change things a little at a time. Small steps lead to bigger ones as you grow. I am pulling for you. Stay safe.
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'm also almost 20 and still live at home with my parents. I moved around a lot as a child as well and always lost my friends so maybe thats one reason at least why I am very antisocial and have no friends, I can relate to you a lot.

    Are you planning on hurting yourself or others with your rifle? Please be careful and stay safe .

    No way in hell anyone here and especially me will laugh at you, I can understand you a lot.
  7. username1

    username1 Member

    No not hurt others, myself of course everey day.
  8. I've moved alot during my childhood, personally like allot of other stuff in my life it started to build on me and I wanted to die, but it dosent have to be like that. It's not shameful to live with your parents I actually find it quite noble, it shows a gentle soul, right now you're just scared of tommorow, and dying isnt the right decision stay safe, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers
  9. suicidal maniac

    suicidal maniac Well-Known Member

    Don't take this the wrong way but are you a virgin? I just feel that you wouldn't belive in ww3 if you weren't, or the commet of 2012. I belive what Nostradamus wrote, the world is going to come to an end in 3000 something. It's preety belivable.
  10. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Mike, you know that your post is wholly inappropriate, why did you make it then?

    I say that reason why you haven't killed yourself is that because you of course still have some hesistation, you really do not want to die, you just want your pain and suffering to end. By god, I know it is just 1000% much freaking easier said that done, but please hold on, please don't do anything rash that you may regret later on. I say right now, take each day step by step, take small baby steps and go slowly in your progress.

    I know I probably have little to no credibility as I know little about your life other than what you have said, I just do know that things aren't 100% set in stone for you, things CAN get better, there IS hope. I hope you can go out and seek it, even though it will be very small and hard to find. And there are many people here willing to listen to you, you can always give a PM (private message) or talk to people here by instant messaging.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2007
  11. mike308

    mike308 Well-Known Member

    I know it was wrong... had a bad day, just the last one of many,many,many, many. Hope I didn't cause anybody any harm.
    I will not do it again
  12. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    Thats Fucked up! what the fuck does having sex have to do with personal believes huh? If you're goal was to piss people off then it fucking worked. The only thing that that post could achieve was negativity and you fucking know it!
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2007
  13. Cestmoi

    Cestmoi Well-Known Member

    The word fuck used 4 times. Ah, the irony...
  14. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    virgins aside, where were the places you lived?
  15. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    What the hell? All some of you guys have done is poke fun at him.
  16. dreamstar

    dreamstar Active Member

    I too believe in the end times. I think it will happen by WW3. And I'm thinking it will happen before Bush gets out of office. But thats just speculation of course. Its hard believing in these kind of things because most people just think it sounds nuts. I havent cut off my friends but I do feel very distant from them now. I still live at home too.

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2007
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