I feel alone, worthless, I cannot attain a job because society is a big fuck up and keeps me down. I'm madly in love with a girl who doesn't show affection back but leads me on. I know none of my family besides my close family which I don't even talk to, I just stay inside my room all fucking day. I don't even go out to party anymore since I quit drugs, drinking and smoking, sometimes I wish I could just take lots of drugs and forget how fucked up my life and reality is, but im OCD when I start something ill NEVER break it. All my activities like running, Muay Thai and boxing are just fuck ups a waste of time money and effort nowadays. I just want to fight and hurt other people in the ring, just knock their fucking faces in thinking about them taking what I deserve, respect. I've always told myself I would never kill myself but its looking like a very viable option. Being a male in his young twenties without a car, job and still lives with his mother is demoralising, I "dream" of doing a lot of bad things to society and the people within when I think of this, ONLY BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEGLECTED ME. My dumbass psychologist tried to give me medication even though she knows I'm straight edge, so I quit!! I'm tired of people pretending like they give a fuck when they don't and I'll probably get the same treatment here, just be honest don't sugar coat me for fuck sakes. THE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD OF BEEN PROTECTING MY MENTAL HEALTH HAVE NEGATIVITY AND SYSTEMATICALLY ATTACKED MY WELL BEING!!! I'm a useless statistic contributing nothing to society, I'm a bottom feeding leech who feels like getting <edit mod total eclilpse method>, and possibly others. Fucking fuck life, no Gods no masters, fuck society and fuck every single capitalistic **** who has kept me been a worthless human for this long. I hope the world fucking crashes and burns and their mothers die a fucking awful and painful death and all their loved ones!!!! SCREW THIS WORLD TO HELL, I HOPE HELL EXISTS AND EVERYONE WHO HAS DOWN ME WRONG BURNS THERE FOREVER IN PAIN AND SUFFERING!!!