suicidal thinking

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cynthia4141, May 25, 2016.

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  1. cynthia4141

    cynthia4141 Member

    All I can think about tonight is how to end my life. I have a great life. I job I enjoy, great kids, family who love me. Why do I feel like this. Am I alone this?
     
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hello Cynthia, I'm sorry to hear you're having these thoughts. Is this the first time you've had them? Do you suffer from depression or has anything traumatic happened to you recently. Maybe you could give us a little more background on your situation. Also, welcome to the forum.
    Brian
     
  3. cynthia4141

    cynthia4141 Member

    I have been fighting a depression for over 2 years now. The darkness is all I can see most of the time. I feel like just giving up hope that it will get better. I do the therapy thing, take the meds as ordered (most of the time). It has only been about a week since I last tried to end my life. I need to live I have a son to finish raising yet.
     
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I'm sorry Cynthia, that's a rough go. Have you told your therapist how you're feeling. I'm wondering if maybe they could change your meds to something that works better. I know it can take several tries to get the right medication.
    I think you'll like this forum, people here a very supportive.
     
  5. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Btw don't give up hope, I know how it feels to lose hope and get into despair. But it does eventually change and you want to live again. You have the greatest reason to live too, your child :)
     
  6. cynthia4141

    cynthia4141 Member

    My meds have been changes many times in the last couple of years. I try to keep fighting. When I failed at suicide about 10 years ago it did get better. I keep trying to hold onto that hope as I know it can get better as it did before. My therapist keeps telling me I have to see the good things about me and to remember my blessings but those things don't change the depressed mood. You can know all the facts, good things and still feeling down and depressed. It doesn't make any sense.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Cynthia. you're certainly not alone in the awy you are feeling. What gives you happinesss? what things do you enjoy doing? I'm sure your son loves you and he needs you. please get professional help for the way you are feeling if not already, it can help a lot, therapy can work wonders. Good luck to you on your journey to recovery and we're here to help you along the way.
     
  8. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I understand Cynthia, I've been on a few different anti depressants and after awhile they'd stop working and I'd need to try something else. Sometimes it's a long drawn out task. Depression can be totally debilitating, and can take you to some dark places. As Petal said, continuing with your therapist and maybe try some more meds is about all I guess you can do. But keep posting here and the people will support you the best they can, many are going and have been through depression(including me) Sometimes it just helps to talk about your feelings and get them out. I know it's hard but try and hang in there.
    Brian
     
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