Suicidal thoughts and OCD [Trigger]

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by roksy, Jun 3, 2013.

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  1. roksy

    roksy Well-Known Member

    My existence is just crap. I really want to do so many things but my OCD is so strong that there are so many things that I can't do. For instance I was really good at the machine shop however from the fear of developing Tinnitus I am worried to set foot in the machine shop because of all the noise. I don't know if I have tinnitus or not but I am trying to avoid anything that might lead to it.

    Also I feel that my computer is contaminated. There was a spill on it and now I feel it is contaminated. I can't focus anymore on what I am doing on the computer as my mind is constantly battling OCD.

    What's the use of life if I am going through all this? Isn't it better to just end it all? I can't do the things that I used to like to do and from the suicidal thoughts I am not sure that I will ever feel ok again and the OCD will decrease.

    I just don't feel that I want to do this any longer.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    OCD is so hard to manage hun but with professional help it can be managed i hope that you do have someone helping you to cope with your illness hugs
  3. Hey man, I can relate to your issue in some ways. I had pretty severe anxieties that stopped me from getting out of the house. I study biomedical sciences, but I couldn't leave the house to go to lectures or anything else for about two years. Lately I have beat most of my anxieties by gradual exposure. I can also relate to your tinnitus fears. I myself got tinnitus about a year and a half ago, and especially the first few months were no picknick. Eventually I got used to it, and moved on with most of my life. Unfortunately that wasn't nearly everything that was wrong with me (which brings me back to this forum).

    I actually went to a tinnitus clinic ran by a renown brain surgeon, leading expert in the field of tinnitus. The worst thing you can do is worry about it, which is obviously easier said than done for someone suffering from OCD. Maybe you can try gradually exposing yourself to situations you fear, bearing in mind never to do anything you are truly not comfortable with. Baby steps. I hope you will, like myself notice that small improvement can mean a lot to you. For me, being able to just go outside and have a beer with friends can be a real treat. Second, I would advise you to buy some sort of hearing protection. It never hurts to have it, and in case you need it, it'll be there. If you haven't yet, it is a good idea to contact a psychiatrist. Personally I have had shit experiences with psychologists, but psychiatrists always seemed to have a hands on approach to deal with my anxiety. Maybe antidepressants could even be an option. There are plenty of possibilities at this point it seems :)
  4. roksy

    roksy Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys. I am actually seeing a professional. It has improved a lot however new situations come up and I feel horrible again. I hope that it does not keep getting worse.
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