Suicidal thoughts, are they normal?

[Drago]

Hello,
I am new to the site.
I am 28 and live in Europe. I have been struggling with depression mostly in the form of day long suicidal thoughts for the last 5 years. From one year to now, I have been attending a CBT therapist and am taking Sertraline. I do feel much better, I almost never think of Death anymore.
Still, I often feel like my life is gray and tasteless, and I often desire not to wake up the day after and sometimes think again of killing myself.
I would like some empathy, is it normal to feel like this?
I see people and they all look so positive and beaming, like the thought of Death could never cross their mind. For me it's a constant presence

What do you think?

Thanks

Draco

 

[Charlene]

Hello Drago,
welcome to the forum.
I don't know what "normal" is about but I know that a lot of people are suffering from the feeling of numbness or suicidal thoughts, emptiness.
You feel your life is grey and tasteless and that is what is important. There is no "normal". All feelings and thoughts that exist are human.
I am sure you have your reasons for feeling like this. I am pleased that you already are in treatment and I hope this will help you.
A lot of people on here know what this feels like too, so feel free to join the chatroom and talk to us.
And a lot of us are used to pretend we are fine in real life. I don't think anyone who does not know would ever recognise me as a depressed person or someone who deals with suicidal thoughts from time to time.
I think that everyone earns a tasty and colourful life and should get the help to realise it.
Take care!
Anne

 

[Petal]

Hello,
I am new to the site.
I am 28 and live in Europe. I have been struggling with depression mostly in the form of day long suicidal thoughts for the last 5 years. From one year to now, I have been attending a CBT therapist and am taking Sertraline. I do feel much better, I almost never think of Death anymore.
Still, I often feel like my life is gray and tasteless, and I often desire not to wake up the day after and sometimes think again of killing myself.
I would like some empathy, is it normal to feel like this?
I see people and they all look so positive and beaming, like the thought of Death could never cross their mind. For me it's a constant presence

What do you think?

Thanks

Draco

Hi and welcome to the forum, CBT helped me a lot and I am also on Sertraline, it's a great medicine isn't it?
I hop being on SF benefits you You can beat and fight this depression. There's a lot of people here battling an fighting their own issues and SF is a great source of support for many x

 

[SillyOldBear]

Suicidal thoughts are pretty darn common. I bet a large number of those smiling faces you see all the time have considered it at one time or another. Some have probably been pretty serious about it. The thing is, they are afraid to mention it to anyone. It has been on my mind for years and this is the first place that I have felt comfortable discussing it. That is because the people here understand. They won't judge you or condemn you. Most nights I go to bed wishing I would never wake up. But I keep waking up, so I figure life has something else in store for me. So please don't feel alone in thoughts of death. Just fight them like hell because life is worth fighting for.