It's back again, and just when I think life is moving forward, someone starts to stumble and mumble like they have in the past. Yesterday was a birthday, but it was not a celebration, just another glance into hell. The whole weekend has been tense. I just want a very long sleep so this will stop.
i'm sorry that you're still suffering. i hope you can get the help that you need to get out of this pit of despair. sometimes you have to move forward one little step at a time, and remember we'll be by your side. i hope you feel better soon...mike...
i'm glad you don't feel suicidal. and the appeal isn't actually suicide it's the ending of pain. there is always hope, without hope we stand no chance to get better. i hope you can feel better soon...mike...
Some ideations. They're peaceful too. Have to remind myself that it's a fantasy. Suicide is painful and messy and not a solution. No matter that I seem to feel stuck with someone, even though I try. You can't change someone. My life isnt right for me so what's the point in living it? I've had a good run. Maybe I'm ready. Too many failures and trying is getting old and acceptance is like death anyway.
As a matter of fact, I wish I had killed myself before. Now it's late. I wish I was dead already. I should have killed myself three years ago, when I started to think about it. I wouldn't have lived even worse (way worse) things than the ones which made me suicidal in the first place.
I want to be dead... I don't want to exist, but I can't kill myself right now and this is the moment I didn't want to live. It's too late.
I'll be thinking about you. When my sister's birthday comes around, my mother takes a trip. When your son's birthday comes, you should do something nice for yourself. I know it probably doesn't feel right to be cheered up on your son's birthday. But you deserve it, and your son would want you to be happy.