Yes, feeling pretty guilty for feeling that way though cos I should really be grateful for the good things.
Just really feeling ignored, disregarded, dismissed, unimportant and otherwise utterly uncared about. It's not a good feeling at all. Anyway not gonna do anything about it other than some SH later, think that will help a bit at least. I always enjoy how it looks after for sure. Feels like I deserve that too, for both the rejection I've experienced from so many people, and also cos I'm too negative for people. Negative is bad which means I'm bad and deserve all the bad things that have happened. So doing that will make it all balance out. I've been too resistant about these facts, clearly. Will be good to make it all right though