Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?

[Dwight]

Yes, but I am EXTREMELY stressed out right now. just another day at the carnival that is my life.

I haven't had suicidal thoughts for two weeks probably, which is definitely progress in the right direction.

The fact that you haven't had suicidal thoughts that long IS good progress, Moxman! I have the thoughts pretty much every day. But I also dream of winning the lottery every day, and the odds are better at that than the ones that I'd actually off myself at this point. Not sure how old you are, but just accept the thoughts as part of life, brother. You can think of a LOT things that you don't or can't act on. But your thoughts are private & personal. They don't have to be PC or acceptable to anyone but you!
I am sorry you're going through extreme stress though. Anything you want to share & unload? (As long as you don't have clowns at your carnival you'll be FINE!)

 

[moxman]

@Dwight

Let me put it this way, I wrote this last night about my ex-wife.

You are a very sick person, you need real help very, very badly. You need to be in a secure facility for your own well being. You are unable to function in society, I worry for your well being when your mother does pass. You have no business having my girl and exposing her to your illness and unhealthy ways and not being the mother she needs. Our son is scared of you. I pity you.

My daughter has been complaining of exhaustion and such, she's 14, I can not rely on the ex to take her to the doctor and give me accurate information back.

I have been up all night not able to sleep because of racing thoughts and I was too afraid to take my night time medication, that knocks me out, in case my daughter needed me. The ex has custody of my daughter because my son sexually molested her and no judge will give me custody as long as he lives with me. He is doing a lot better maturity wise but I wonder if he could ever live by himself, I suspect he has some sort of high functioning autism.

so yeah, i have a lot going on.

There's a lot more but I don't feel comfortable talking about on public forums.

 

[Unknown_111]

That's all any of us do is make it one day at a time. I don't know why you would say you deserve to suffer. No one deserves that, well almost no one anyway. I can tell by your posts that you're a caring person & that alone makes you worthy of being free from suffering!
Now whether fate, or the gods, or whatever agree, I don't know, but that's my humble two cents! Today is a new day & we can all face it together here on SF. With each other's support we CAN & WILL make it to this evening, then tonight & then tomorrow.
One day at a time. That's the way life was intended from the beginning anyway.
Like the old saying goes: "Man plans...God laughs."
Let's beat the crap out of today together & let tomorrow tremble at our greatness to face it when it comes!

Thank you for making my day. It means a lot this post. It helps me to survive every day. I treat each day as new life experience and I try to get through it. I have on this forum for three years and it's saves me everyday.

Thank you for your kind words. Respect to the SF family.

 

[Dwight]

@Dwight

Let me put it this way, I wrote this last night about my ex-wife.



My daughter has been complaining of exhaustion and such, she's 14, I can not rely on the ex to take her to the doctor and give me accurate information back.

I have been up all night not able to sleep because of racing thoughts and I was too afraid to take my night time medication, that knocks me out, in case my daughter needed me. The ex has custody of my daughter because my son sexually molested her and no judge will give me custody as long as he lives with me. He is doing a lot better maturity wise but I wonder if he could ever live by himself, I suspect he has some sort of high functioning autism.

so yeah, i have a lot going on.

There's a lot more but I don't feel comfortable talking about on public forums.

I know there's more, as I've seen many hints of it in your story & on other posts you've made. But the VAST majority of what I've read from you has been an inspiration to me, and I know to others. It hurts to "see" you stressed & we all share in your trials. Know you are cared for & thought highly of, and support, wishes, prayers & hugs are sent your way for strength for whatever today brings (AND your ex.)
I hope you find a way to free your daughter of her clutches without endangering her. My soul bleeds for your pain, brother...

 

[trippysunny73]

I need help to start off first I'm schizoaffective and suffer from major depression, and anxiety. The last week I've been considering committing suicide. I'm getting to the point where I've fantasied about doing it I want to do it painless like I would assume many do. I'm also an opiate and benzo addict and was thinking taking myself out with<mod edit - method>and just scared part of me actually want out so bad I fantasy death how wonderful it would be, but I know death is no picnic in the park. I've even thought about <mod edit - method>which would end my life instantly I'm confused I feel like I have nothing to leave for I don't know If I'm on the right forum but I need advice some feedback anything PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!! aka I can't talk to my family they would just put me in the hospital again I'm at the end of my rope

 

[Clover4]

Post here if you are feeling suicidal today.

That way,other members will know who needs extra support today

I've been feeling very suicidal lately. I have no one in my life anymore and I just feel like a huge burden to everyone around me.

 

[Charlene]

not suicidal but help- and hopeless concernig every day struggles...
I am about to ruin my health and just don't find a way to change it...

 

[Unknown_111]

I'm having the same feelings but I know deep down I will survive as usual.

 

[sparrow]

Yes

 

[Petal]

Yes

Here if you need a friendly listening ear.

 

[Claudia UK]

Yes I do feel suicidal and not only today. Loneliness is killing and with constant financial worries on top of that I am starting to loose it quickly. Haven't slept much in days and I can't relax or switch off. Got enough of this shitty life . If I resolve one problem life throws me another curve ball. 52 years on this planet is enough.

 

[Gloomy eeyore]

Yes I am. I have constant thoughts of suicide. They never seem to go away. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

 

[J Lyn]

I too have not been able to avoid these constant thoughts that I want to kill myself, which I see as a way to free myself from a life of self-hatred, regret and despondency....it is so hard to move forward when that desire to off myself is forever in my thoughts and appears in my mind to be a reasonable alternative to living.

 

[Harmony]

Time to stop kidding myself. I've been in a bad place these past weeks and it's only getting worse. I'm tired and want to give up on this life of pain and darkness which is all consuming. All that is running through my mind today is...why not? Just do it.

 

[VivianEve]

Time to stop kidding myself. I've been in a bad place these past weeks and it's only getting worse. I'm tired and want to give up on this life of pain and darkness which is all consuming. All that is running through my mind today is...why not? Just do it.

No,please,don't!! Every single day,every hour I think bout suicide. I'm hiding my Bipolar Disorder and Clinical Depression since 8 years just to protect my parents. I don't have friends anymore,I don't live. In September I spent 5 weeks at home. I just couldn't leave my bed for more than 10 minutes a day. My pills were over. I don't wanna live. I pray someone to murder me. Daily. But I bloody believe in this tiny 0,00001 of wonder. Please, let's believe together! I will share this percent with you,ok?

 

[ami]

Yes I do feel suicidal. I often feel like this. I don't want to live anymore. I am old and finished. I need to die.
I have been bipolar all my life and it has crippled me. I feel like there is nothing left now. I cry if anyone even looks at me the wrong way. My friend's favourite word is "why". Why do people keep asking "why"....who knows why. If I knew why I would do something about it.

 

[Brian777]

Yes I do feel suicidal. I often feel like this. I don't want to live anymore. I am old and finished. I need to die.
I have been bipolar all my life and it has crippled me. I feel like there is nothing left now. I cry if anyone even looks at me the wrong way. My friend's favourite word is "why". Why do people keep asking "why"....who knows why. If I knew why I would do something about it.

Hi Ami, I'm sorry you feel so bad life is a struggle with depression. I hope you stay around here and get to know us. Most of us feel the same way and we understand. It makes it a little easier having people who understand and support you. Welcome to the forum.
Brian

 

[ohyeahitsme]

Suicidal thoughts have now become my constant companion its the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I sleep and its starting to consume me completely most days now its literally all I think of i'm tired and I just want sleep and be at peace

 

[ami]

Hello Brian,
Thank you for replying to me. I fell asleep after posting that so I am sorry I didn't reply right away. I take a lot of pain killer so I fall asleep often. I am addicted. I guess a lot of people with depression get addicted because it is an escape.
I am going to stick around Brian....if I can. I want to be helped and I don't want to feel this way, but I just don't know how to change things. I have a doctor and he just gives me more pills but nothing seems to work.

 

[ami]

ohyeahhitsme, I can't help you as I can't even help myself.