Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?

ive been reading alot of forums, looking for a advice and answers and trying to understand if how im feeling about life is normal the more i read the more i it makes me sad, i havn't read anything even remotely useful or even helpful.
Im in a position, where im unhappy and don't really enjoy been alive, their is nothing i'm looking forward to, all the advice out their seems to be just change the way you think and change the aspects of your life you don't like. which just doesn't cut it, its not like i look around thinking god everyones lifes are so good but mine, everyone's lifes seems just as boring and meh as mine, they just seem better at dealing with it then me.
lets face it most people spend about 50% of there time doing stuff they don't want to do, another 3rd sleeping, and you get about 20% time to do what you want, and only then if you can afford it and if its possible an if their is actually anything you want to do.
No where in any of the advice i have read does it tell you how to deal this fact, no one talks about it, and the more i read and look into to counciling , anti depressants.... the more it just seems to be about trying to learn to lie to your self to avoid the fact that for most people maybe LIFE IS JUST A BIT SHIT and im not feeling this way because their is something wrong with me mentally, or im in some way chemically unbalanced.
Maybe i'd be happy if i learned to trick myself that life is better than it is, or found some hope in believing in some religion or other who tell you don't worry if your life's shit becuase if your good you will go to heaven, but i don't i just think thats more ways of lieing to yourself to deal with the fact life isnt great.
Maybe the only think i need to work out is do I want to stay alive going through the motions just becuase it is better then not existing at all?

im sorry for the nature of this post, i just needed to write this down somehwere
 
ive been reading alot of forums, looking for a advice and answers and trying to understand if how im feeling about life is normal the more i read the more i it makes me sad, i havn't read anything even remotely useful or even helpful.
Im in a position, where im unhappy and don't really enjoy been alive, their is nothing i'm looking forward to, all the advice out their seems to be just change the way you think and change the aspects of your life you don't like. which just doesn't cut it, its not like i look around thinking god everyones lifes are so good but mine, everyone's lifes seems just as boring and meh as mine, they just seem better at dealing with it then me.
lets face it most people spend about 50% of there time doing stuff they don't want to do, another 3rd sleeping, and you get about 20% time to do what you want, and only then if you can afford it and if its possible an if their is actually anything you want to do.
No where in any of the advice i have read does it tell you how to deal this fact, no one talks about it, and the more i read and look into to counciling , anti depressants.... the more it just seems to be about trying to learn to lie to your self to avoid the fact that for most people maybe LIFE IS JUST A BIT SHIT and im not feeling this way because their is something wrong with me mentally, or im in some way chemically unbalanced.
Maybe i'd be happy if i learned to trick myself that life is better than it is, or found some hope in believing in some religion or other who tell you don't worry if your life's shit becuase if your good you will go to heaven, but i don't i just think thats more ways of lieing to yourself to deal with the fact life isnt great.
Maybe the only think i need to work out is do I want to stay alive going through the motions just becuase it is better then not existing at all?

im sorry for the nature of this post, i just needed to write this down somehwere
Just wanted to say that this is exactly how I feel. I think to myself pretty much every day "is this REALLY it? Is this all that there is to life? If so count me out because this shit sucks." Not the most positive way to think but it's my general attitude towards life. You are not alone.
 

Taz8

Well-Known Member
I'm feeling very suicidal I feel so lost seems like my depression is getting worse, anti depressents are not working I can't see a way out I just wish I was dead right now I feel such a burden and a loser, everyone around me must think I'm such a big waste of life nothing but a big ugly fat loser with no hope, oh how much I hate this life wish I was just dead.
 

MistySilver

Well-Known Member
I have found that I need to be proactive - decide to move, allow distractions, determine to give myself respite from my head. I really hope you can choose to experiment with anything positive to see if those ideas assist you in getting some peace.
 

WatchingPlanesFlyBy

Captain of the Catwalk
Missing my mother.

I told myself I would not mourn my mother's passing. I convinced myself she was this monster who only lived to grief the family.

But nobody is born a fiend, like clay they are sculpted and molded. Life and circumstance turns the innocent into devils.

I keep replaying the image of her last moments. The police told us they found a mountain of empty liquor bottles at the foot of her bed and dozens more in her closet. I can only imagine her laying there in a stupor, cursing and wanting someone to help her. Praying the children she birthed would save her

But nobody came and she died alone, afraid and unloved.

She drank herself to death and I can't help but feel I had some part in it. When she tried to kill herself I told her to fuck off. I was so sure it was just another grab for attention.

I left her to die and I can't escape it. All my life I called her a monster when it was really me. I don't know if I'm suicidal but I sure as hell wish I was dead.
 

Kira

•✮• SF Gelfling •✮•
SF Creative
SF Artist
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Missing my mother.

I told myself I would not mourn my mother's passing. I convinced myself she was this monster who only lived to grief the family.

But nobody is born a fiend, like clay they are sculpted and molded. Life and circumstance turns the innocent into devils.

I keep replaying the image of her last moments. The police told us they found a mountain of empty liquor bottles at the foot of her bed and dozens more in her closet. I can only imagine her laying there in a stupor, cursing and wanting someone to help her. Praying the children she birthed would save her

But nobody came and she died alone, afraid and unloved.

She drank herself to death and I can't help but feel I had some part in it. When she tried to kill herself I told her to fuck off. I was so sure it was just another grab for attention.

I left her to die and I can't escape it. All my life I called her a monster when it was really me. I don't know if I'm suicidal but I sure as hell wish I was dead.
Conflicts with our families are the hardest things to handle. We are meant to love them because, well, they're our family! Rubbish. We can't choose our family so why are we expected to deal with them if they are abusive and horrible people?

I'm not assuming that your mother was but I know that I didn't choose the abuse and violence that I copped from my Father and brother. So once I was old enough to stand up for myself, I walked away and never looked back. I understand that our mothers/fathers are different to everyone else but they where the adults that chose to treat us like rubbish. Please don't feel bad. You are not bad and you are certainly not responsible for your mother's actions. Be kind to yourself ok? ox
 
I am feeling pretty bad tonight, I've been crying off and on for the last hour or so. I feel this way a lot though lately. It usually comes in spurts throughout the day but it's the worst at night (aka now) when I'm alone in my dark room and it's all I can think about... It's pathetic.
I have my cat to comfort me most nights, but she can't make the thoughts disappear unfortunately.
 
Just wanted to say that this is exactly how I feel. I think to myself pretty much every day "is this REALLY it? Is this all that there is to life? If so count me out because this shit sucks." Not the most positive way to think but it's my general attitude towards life. You are not alone.
im glad their are other people out there who feel like this, you look round the world and no one seems to want to address this, no one talks about the fact that in general life is just a bit shit and if you say it people act like their is something wrong with you, councillors ask why you feel this way?
i just wanna scream their isn't anything wrong with me, life is mostly shit, and i feel this way becuase its true.
 

Grok

Be Stubborn. Live.
SF Supporter
I am feeling pretty bad tonight, I've been crying off and on for the last hour or so. I feel this way a lot though lately. It usually comes in spurts throughout the day but it's the worst at night (aka now) when I'm alone in my dark room and it's all I can think about... It's pathetic.
I have my cat to comfort me most nights, but she can't make the thoughts disappear unfortunately.
It's not pathetic.
It's hard, but don't blame yourself.
If you could, you'd choose away the depression, the pain, the darkness and loneliness.

And while we're almost talking about cats, my white fluffy monster just looked at me, shook her head sending dribble over me and my drink, then smugly head butted me before lazily looking for the food bowl. Little brat. Most nights though they are my comfort too.
 
Sorry ... too stupid to figure out how to create a post rather than submit a reply.
I've been fighting too long and I don't want to suffer any longer.
Started taking Wellbutrin 11 days ago, and take clonazepam daily at various dosages.
Can't use SSRIs due to intolerable side effects.
I'm pretty sure I've lost the will to continue the struggle, and it feels as though I'm ready to end the struggle.
I'm too much of a coward to go through with suicide.
 
Sorry ... too stupid to figure out how to create a post rather than submit a reply.
I've been fighting too long and I don't want to suffer any longer.
Started taking Wellbutrin 11 days ago, and take clonazepam daily at various dosages.
Can't use SSRIs due to intolerable side effects.
I'm pretty sure I've lost the will to continue the struggle, and it feels as though I'm ready to end the struggle.
I'm too much of a coward to go through with suicide.
Sorry ... too stupid to figure out how to create a post rather than submit a reply.
I've been fighting too long and I don't want to suffer any longer.
Started taking Wellbutrin 11 days ago, and take clonazepam daily at various dosages.
Can't use SSRIs due to intolerable side effects.
I'm pretty sure I've lost the will to continue the struggle, and it feels as though I'm ready to end the struggle.
I'm too much of a coward to go through with suicide.
Hi, I'm a new member too. Apparently I'm a good listener just can't take my own advice. I'm hoping i can get some help on here. Jamie UK
 

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