My situation is nothing compared to what most other people here go through. Still I fell like my life is useless and futile and has been for 8+ years. I am often thinking about something someone did or said 8 or fewer years ago that pissed me off, even though what they did or said doesn't have any impact on my life now. Why keep living if I can't get over trivial shit that people said or did? I don't have any plans to end my life or any desire to kill myself because I have people that would be devastated if I did, but I still think on occasion that I should end my life. Can I tell anyone that I am feeling this way (family, friends) and trust that they won't report me or tell me to go to the emergency room? I am NOT going to an inpatient center because I did that one time and they made me wear this stupid ass outfit and one of the nurses there spoke in a condescending manner to me. They also made me wait for hours before I finally got to go into my room which was more like a jail cell, and then I have a camera on me all the time, the bed was uncomfortable, and the breakfast had hardly any food.