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Suicidal thoughts creeping in

Lane

SF Supporter
#1
I feel like my depression is sneaking up on me. It may be circumstantial,y boss has been hard on me yesterday and daughter taking over house. I just don't have anyone to talk to and I can't keep up. I just went on vacation with someone and he acts so weird so even that wasn't great. I just exist in this world for no reason. I just don't want to leave a lasting impact on my children and niece, but otherwise, I've had enough of the trauma and scraping and clawing of trying to survive. I'm tired.
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#2
I have favorite ways of suicide that I go to and I find it soothing. I haven't bathed in a few days and off my exercise routine and went to bed right after working from home for 12 hours. I can't bring myself to jump back into living again. I know I have to work though to pay my mortgage. Depression is abitch. I took an extra dose of my meds, maybe that will kick my ass into gear. Thanks to whoever is reading this sorry plea.
 

Jane65

Well-Known Member
#3
I have favorite ways of suicide that I go to and I find it soothing. I haven't bathed in a few days and off my exercise routine and went to bed right after working from home for 12 hours. I can't bring myself to jump back into living again. I know I have to work though to pay my mortgage. Depression is abitch. I took an extra dose of my meds, maybe that will kick my ass into gear. Thanks to whoever is reading this sorry plea.
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so much @Lane. I got up briefly this morning then went back to bed. You are doing the best you can. Is it worth trying to get a medication review? Maybe that might help with the depression creeping back in?
Thinking of you xxx
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
Forum Pro
#4
@Lane so sorry you are struggling right now. I can so relate to when having a stressful day at work due to boss/co-worker scrutiny/questioning I too feel like can so easily slide back into depression. It seems like such a fragile thing feeling balanced if that makes sense...sending you hugs and hope today is a bit better for you.
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#11
@MisterBGone @Lifeisthis @adamjam @Sunspots @KM76710 @Kiwi2016 @Jane65 .thank you all for your support. I reread your responses and it helped me not spiral even worse. I forced myself to shower and invited my boys over for dinner and a movie. I am lucky I'm many ways but I this stupid brain and heart get in the way! But seriously, I appreciate the support as it's hard to reach out sometimes.
 

Sunspots

To Wish Impossible Things
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#14
I'm so glad that you weren't alone and had an evening with your loved ones.

It can feel like a monumental effort to reach out and organise things like that but the reward is often an almost instant mood boost.

Do your boys know how you're feeling? Maybe it could be a good idea to book them in for a regular evening.. *hug
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#15
I'm so glad that you weren't alone and had an evening with your loved ones.

It can feel like a monumental effort to reach out and organise things like that but the reward is often an almost instant mood boost.

Do your boys know how you're feeling? Maybe it could be a good idea to book them in for a regular evening.. *hug
I have to get back to my once a week or at least every other week with them. They only want to come over if I cook and I have to prepare with work, so I was being lazy. I'm lucky because they live a mile away. Plus my oneolder son is starting is being much more civil towards to now, kids!

He does know I suffer depression, when he finds me in bed, latelynot as much due to new meds. We keep on trucking, 😆. I hope you are well and not missing your daughter and sweet pup too much friend *console
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
Forum Pro
#16
So glad that your boys were able to come over...and like you when i make the effort (or did before covid) I always was rewarded with a wonderful time...though admit pre-event always wondered if could go through with it.

Wishing you a non-stressful day and a lovely weekend....sending hugs
 
#17
Hi @Lane So sorry to hear you are struggling. Sometimes it can hit for no reason and it’s just so hard to shift the negative downward spiral. Any time you feel like this I hope you are able to come here and share your thoughts. Talking is so important if it helps to lighten your load. Take care and remember you deserve a little kindness. *brohug Xx
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#19
I feel like my depression is sneaking up on me. It may be circumstantial,y boss has been hard on me yesterday and daughter taking over house. I just don't have anyone to talk to and I can't keep up. I just went on vacation with someone and he acts so weird so even that wasn't great. I just exist in this world for no reason. I just don't want to leave a lasting impact on my children and niece, but otherwise, I've had enough of the trauma and scraping and clawing of trying to survive. I'm tired.
i'm sorry that you are struggling so much. you have family that needs you, although you know that already. but you have to find things that can excite you, be passionate about something. and it's never too late to try to learn something new. and anytime you want to talk feel free to use my inbox. you always have someone to talk to.

mike...*hug*console*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#20
I have favorite ways of suicide that I go to and I find it soothing. I haven't bathed in a few days and off my exercise routine and went to bed right after working from home for 12 hours. I can't bring myself to jump back into living again. I know I have to work though to pay my mortgage. Depression is abitch. I took an extra dose of my meds, maybe that will kick my ass into gear. Thanks to whoever is reading this sorry plea.
we all have those bad days or stretch of bad days. try to force yourself to get motivated, i know it's hard to do. all my best.

mike...*hug*console*shake
 

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