Suicidal thoughts every night for the last couple of years

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dreamer2008, Nov 23, 2011.

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  1. dreamer2008

    dreamer2008 Member

    I don't know why, but every night before falling asleep I have suicidal thoughts, imagining stabbing or shooting myself. During the day I feel okay, although sometimes if I am alone the suicide thoughts come back.

    I have definitely no intention of going through with them, and in general I feel calm and in a good mood, I can do my daily activities with no problem, I have long term goals and work to achieve them, but these thoughts still give me comfort before going to sleep.

    Any idea what I can do to make them go away?
  2. Silenced

    Silenced Member

    Death is, I believe, naturally appealing to us humans.
    It's so mysterious that often, we are lured in to it's grasps.... often willingly.

    If you want to expel those thoughts, it's gonna be easier said than done.
    It may take a while, however, it will be worth it in the end.
    You should analyze and try and search deep within for the source of these thoughts.

    Have you witnessed a lot of death in your life?
    Do you have a rocky past?

    Dealing with those things that haunt us subconsciously is both scary and rewarding.
    I have had these thoughts before sleep as well and I believe it may have something to do with Sleep.

    When we enter sleep, we move into what is called Rem sleep... it is the point right before death.. when we are in our deepest sleep. Our brain releases a chemical known as DMT or dimethyltriptomine (spelling?) which I would describe as a "LIVE LIVE LIVE" stimulant.. It brings us out of heavy Rem sleep...

    That may have something to do with it...
  3. dreamer2008

    dreamer2008 Member

    I don't know if I have such deep philosophical reasons for my thoughts.

    I suspect, at first glance, that in my case these thoughts come because it would mean some sort of escape from this life full of uncertainties. And although I don't think like this daily, trying to find the beauty of life, not paying attention to death, after looking at the world around me, deep down I have a fear and a disappointment about how is life in the present and how I think it will be in the future.

    Don't get me wrong, I know that we are now privileged, compared with people that lived until now, we have a long life expectancy, we have no wars, we have a rich and plentiful diet, something that our ancestors couldn't have, very few dangerous diseases, we live in comfortable houses, with easy jobs, but something still feels wrong for me.
  4. Silenced

    Silenced Member

    I believe that is where "religion" helps out. If you have a greater hope for life after death, then suddenly we have a purpose here. Even if it turns out to be False, at least we lived fighting for something... and sometimes.. that alone can make the worst days seem bearable.
  5. dreamer2008

    dreamer2008 Member

    Nevermind, I guess my problem is not so important. Maybe these thoughts will disappear in the future when I will find exactly what causes them.
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