I've hit bottom.. after a 9 year ending relationship.. Ive lost over 200k in gambling and owe over 40k in loan sharks with high interest.. my income is barely enough to survive after paying the weekly interest.. I did this to myself and I know I need to be responsible and deal with it. 3 weeks ago I met a girl and she made me feel like there is hope.. but now I feel codependent on her and when she's not around I feel weak. Which I hate. Sometimes I feel it's easier just to feel no pain. Mostly due to the bueden of my debt. I can't tell any of my family members. I don't know who I can turn to. I'm just way over my head right now and the burden is making me think bad thoughts. Now I even feel worse at times that my lows will be devastating.. I have barely any real friends.. I can't tell my family.. I dont know who I can turn to.. I created a huge mess..