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Suicidal thoughts

#1
Im feeling suicidal right now. Im not going to act on it but desire and means is there.
I don't really know how to deal with these desires. I do know it has huge appeal to me right now.
Im not at a point where I can't keep myself safe.
What it's stopping me? Im not really sure. Because its the end once I do it? There is no going back?
I'm not really at the stage where I'm ready for the end.
Right now im wanting these thoughts to stop, the images in my head to go away.
I know what to do once the thoughts become more than just thoughts. But I don't know what to do or how to deal with this part right now.
 
#3
I just feel my life is pointless. All I do I hurt people around me and cause stress and arguments.
I can't see a point to my life at all. I try to be a good person but I always just end up causing more problems.
I know everyone would be better off if I wasn't here no more.
No matter what I do or don't do, I'm always a bad person
 

MosesY

Functioning Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#4
Hugs to you, wish you were feeling better. I think you have 2 options. 1) Go to sleep or 2) distract yourself. To go to sleep I suggest using melatonin to quiet and ease your mind so you can sleep. To distract yourself I suggest researching a hobby or something you enjoy doing or watching a movie. Do whatever you can to get your mind to focus on something besides your problems. Worrying about sommething does no good at all, it sucks the joy out of life. Things like thinking about your past, thinking about your future etc, are all no good. If you can focus on today, make plans to take a walk or whatever, that is where it''s at. Again I am sorry you are not well and hope things turn out good for this day.
 
#5
I've not really been sleeping very well due to nightmares so this kinda makes me not want to go sleep. Like catch 22. Im trying to distract myself with things to keep me busy, then I get a sudden image of someone I care about getting really hurt. It makes me feel sick to the stomach .
I do really want to go sleep and never wake up, I'm just not at the stage where I am actively trying to do that.
I will keep trying different distractions though if I can, thank you
 

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