Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ellie Grey, Dec 13, 2012.

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  1. Ellie Grey

    Ellie Grey Well-Known Member

    I know I only posted yesterday, but it's so bad today.
    I tried to kill myself yesterday but I couldn't do it (E.G the method did not work according to plan)
    I'm so depressed lately, I forget to shower, sometimes I forget to wash myself, I don't bother with even brushing my hair, the only thing I do is makeup because it's the only "fun" thing that makes me feel slightly happy.
    I just feel constantly tired, I'm always sleeping in the day, I'm that depressed that I tend to just go to sleep and hope that when I wake up I'll feel better.
    For the first time in quite some time I actually laid in a ball and sobbed, I usually can't cry that much but I did.

    I'm an atheist but whilst I was so depressed yesterday I was trying to make myself believe my father would be in the afterlife waiting for me, the only thing that stopped me was a friend messaging me online saying that my father won't be there for me, I'll never find him again and that he's gone forever.
    That was the only thing that stopped me yesterday, I tried to anger all my friends, tried to make them leave, luckily they haven't, they are still there.
    But I'm so depressed I can't think, I'm so hungry and tired; I keep listening to the song "The Nobodies" by Marilyn Manson. I've been listening to it all day, I'm obsessed with some of the lyrics.
    Please, can anyone help me?
    I have to visit my uncle tomorrow and he has boxes of pills, I want to sort this out before I lose control and do something bad, I'd rather not be tempted.
    And yes I have to go to my uncles.
    I've self harmed and have many superficial cuts on my arms.
    I don't know what to do anymore.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    tell you uncle how you are feeling ask him to make sure all the medication is locked up and you go to your doctor and get some help ok some support to pull you out of the depression your in
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