I've never posted here before. I don't know why I am. It's not a cry for help. I just feel so alone. My fiancé is going to leave me. We have been together 5 years. I'm at work right now so I have to keep from crying but I've been having these thoughts of how I need to end it. I've thought of ways to do it. I e had attempts in the past that didn't kill me. I think I'm crazy or mentally ill. I don't know why. I can't tell anyone or I may lose everything even more. I can't tell my fiancé as he will think it is for attention. I know sleeping pills don't work but I'm tempted to try anyways when I get home from work. I just lost all will to live. I hate when people say to go to the hospital. Get help. Talk to a therapist. It won't change anything! I will still be me in this mess! I still won't have friends or people who notice lol be gone. At work they will shake their heads and say how sad and that we don't know what people are going through but the next day it will normal. My death won't matter to anyone.