Suicidal?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by reddragon2410, Feb 8, 2009.

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  1. reddragon2410

    reddragon2410 Well-Known Member

    I can't work it out. Is there a line between not wanting to live, and wanting to die?
    It's not that I want to die or anything, I just really want to "stop living". I want to be dead, without going through the process of actually dieing. Is that the same as being suicidal? Do I count as a suicidal person?
     
  2. diafwcc

    diafwcc Member

    I had a lot of similar feelings just last night... I spent a couple hours researching ways to commit suicide (which led me here actually), but every method I read seemed so gruesome. I don't want to live anymore, but death is still terrifying. Suicidal thoughts are different from suicidal actions, but regardless they are still suicidal in nature ("I don't want to live" is "I want to die" rephrased)

    Stay strong and send me a PM if you want to talk about anything, I'd be happy to listen
     
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    you are only a suicidal person if you count yourself as one imo. i can completely understand the not wanting to live, just wanting to stop, to cease, have no thoughts no feeling, nothing.
    you could just be depresed, medical terms are so enclosed and boxed i feel, its horrible. :hug:
     
  4. reddragon2410

    reddragon2410 Well-Known Member

    Is it? I used to think it was, but now I'm questioning it. I want something else to kill me off. I don't want to do it myself.

    I'd love to be diagnosed with depression or something. I know that sounds weird, but I hate being like this for what I perceive as pathetic reasons. If I have depression, then at least I can tell myself it's not my fault, even if it is.
     
  5. diafwcc

    diafwcc Member

    Indirect suicide is, by the strictest of definitions, what you are talking about. For example, I started smoking cigarrettes last year and am now a heavy smoker... If I continue smoking, it will most likely cause cancer or some other health issue... which might lead to my death. Indirectly, I am on my way to killing myself and "something else" is doing it (this makes me think I need a faster method though, even chain smoking would take way too long).
     
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Have you talked to your doctor? You might have depression. You could print out what you wrote here and take it in when you go to see him/her? It's a scary step, but well worth it if they are able to come up with a diagnosis and some treatments, like anti-depressants or therapy.
     
  7. reddragon2410

    reddragon2410 Well-Known Member

    I don't really have a doctor. Sure we have a family one, but I haven't seen him in ages. I doubt I could bring myself to trusting him. And I have no idea how I make an appointment about something like that, whether a GP is the right kinda doctor I want to see, and all that kind of stuff. Plus I'm worried my parents would find out.
     
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