Hi, I am a 17 year old female. I am currently feeling suicidal. I don't want to get medical help because I always end up in a mental hospital and I am in no mood for that. I want to die, but at the same time, I don't. I love my family and my boyfriend so much. I can't get myself to leave them. Everything has gone wrong the past 2 weeks. I sometimes wonder if I am in a mentally abusive relationship. Everyday seems to get worse, with the fights. He just cussed me out and told me to leave him alone. All because I added one of his male friend. I'm not allowed to put pictures on facebook, I can't be on too long, I am not allowed to text man or woman, he goes through my texts, facebook messages, and bag. He reads all of my notebooks that are for school, everyday. He trips me if I walk away from him. He yells at me constantly. I don't know why I hold on. He used to treat me so good. Now he's just...mean to me. He doesn't understand how bad he is hurting me.