suicide - an addiction?

[Rosenrot]

Sure I'm obsessed thinking about it, but that's about it. It just stays in my head.

 

[Dave_N]

Apology accepted, I can assume it was with good intention.

I'm glad that we cleared that up. I'm glad that you were able to hang on for so long. :hug:

 

[annie-crafts]

No. I think they are a self-defense mechanism from anxiety. Thinking about a way out of a stressful situation, even if only in fantasy, is better than the pressure of the stress.

But it's effect is very limited. Since we are still stressful..

An interesting way to think about it, but all addictions are self-defense mechanisms from anxiety. Maybe "addiction" is too strong of a term. Anyways, how do you deal?

 

[Stranger1]

Hey Annie,
I have lived with these thoughts since I was thirteen, I am now fiftytwo. I still think about them dailey but have learned thru three years of therapy to address the thoughts everymorning and let them know that they are not going to control me. I sort of lock them away in the back of my mind for the day and try to have atleast one positive thought to help reinforce this.
This forum is a safe place, but unfortunately like the old saying goes there is always one bad apple in every barrel. I think that person who made the remark to you was way out of line.
Maybe you shouldn't give up on therapy so easy. I feel that way occasionally, and have taken this month off from it so I could just work on my thoughts myself. It's o.k. to take a brake from it but you should go back.
Think about what I said about addressing the SI thoughts every morning and tell them nope it's not happening today. Take Care!!~Joseph~

 

[Panos]

the worst thing is that at the beggining when you feel sad or smt similar you think about doing it. and it stays there. in ur mind. Then as time passes on you just stick to it and then you just feel good being sad though you hurt lot. It becomes a part of you. You just simply seak it and when you find it you feel safe in it while at the same time you feel like shit cause you are sick and tired of being this way.
dunno if u know what i mean?

 

[annie-crafts]

I'm in therapy, I haven't given up on that. Just had therapy today. I do have some days that it's easy to just put them in the back of my head and not give them much thought. It's just harder on the days when I'm super depressed and hopeless. But I'm working on it. Thanks for the response.

 

[annie-crafts]

the worst thing is that at the beggining when you feel sad or smt similar you think about doing it. and it stays there. in ur mind. Then as time passes on you just stick to it and then you just feel good being sad though you hurt lot. It becomes a part of you. You just simply seak it and when you find it you feel safe in it while at the same time you feel like shit cause you are sick and tired of being this way.
dunno if u know what i mean?

I think that i understand. It's like a safety net. It's a backup plan. I do feel safe in it because has become my "friend" in a way. And then I do feel like shit because I think that I should be able to be in control of my thoughts. But instead, it takes over and makes me feel safe.

Does that make sense?

 

[Dave_N]

I do feel safe in it because has become my "friend" in a way. And then I do feel like shit because I think that I should be able to be in control of my thoughts. But instead, it takes over and makes me feel safe.

Does that make sense?

I view suicide as an enemy of mine. Maybe if you make suicide your 'enemy' instead of your 'friend' then it might help to overcome it? If suicide is a comforting thought, then it will be difficult to separate from it. Just a thought.

 

[annie-crafts]

I view suicide as an enemy of mine. Maybe if you make suicide your 'enemy' instead of your 'friend' then it might help to overcome it? If suicide is a comforting thought, then it will be difficult to separate from it. Just a thought.

I often say that it is my best friend and worst enemy. I like the perspective you give it. I really have ALOT of letting go to do......

 

[annie-crafts]

But then a wave of suicidal thoughts come crashing down on me (like now) and it's all i can think of. not that i'm going to do it right now, i'm just going to go crawl in my bed and cry and think about doing it and that will be the most comforting thing for now. i have no energy to fight it now.

 

[Dave_N]

Annie :hug:

 

[annie-crafts]

Thanks, having a better day today. Sad, but trying to find the part of me that wants to live. Thinking last night, that suicide is such a strong force in my thoughts, I asked myself - there is part of me that wants to live - where is that part of me and how do I make it stronger than the suicidal thoughts.

:cool: