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suicide and gender

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by palmtrees, Oct 16, 2008.

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  1. palmtrees

    palmtrees Well-Known Member

    I'm curious to read anybody's views on how gender and being suicidal are related. Both men and women have unique problems based on their biology and the roles society expects them to fulfill. Women are said to talk about being suicidal more than men, but men are by far more likely to go through with it. Women are more likely to use pills or cutting, men are more likely to use violent and instant means.

    Women have the pressure of being the primary caregiver in families, working AND doing the housework/shopping, etc., being viewed and used as sex objects, having their worth tied to their looks and bodies, being seen as weaker and more emotional and jealous and irrational, competition from other females.

    Men (who I obviously know more about because I am one) are expected to be strong, powerful, rich, in control of all situations, dependent on no one but themselves. They can't talk about their emotions, they don't bond as well with others, can't show pain, can't show fear, can't show weakness, have to "take it like a man". Have to be the ones initiating and driving a relationship, have to be dominant and outgoing, are assumed to want to fuck everything in sight and as a result get viewed as dangerous, heartless and predatory.

    Obviously both sexes have it rough and I'm not arguing that either has it better or worse than the other. The problems are unique and can't really be compared. However, women seem to socialize better and as a result are more likely to have a network of people to rely on, while men are more isolated and feel seeking help is viewed as weakness. Some of this may account for the disparity in suicides between men and women.

    Feel free to add any thoughts.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 16, 2008
  2. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Another reason for the disparity is divorce, which raises the risk for male suicide.

    I agree with the everything you said. It seems to me that a lot of women who attempt suicide feel emotionally isolated within a group of people and use their attempt as a cry for help, hoping something might improve. While a lot of men choose more violent means because there's no one there to help. There is less chance of a man obtaining an emotional connection to someone else and even if one does exist, it can be easily broken by not living up to the male stereotype.
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi palmtrees. It seems like you have a good understanding of why both sexes turn to suicide. I agree that the reasons why men and women turn to suicide are generally different. Most of the women that I've spoken to on this site have encountered some form of physical or sexual abuse, which has contributed to thier suicidal feelings. Many of the men on the other hand are suicidal, because they can't find a girlfriend to have sex with. Although there are many reasons why people feel suicidal, it seems like sexual trauma and sexual frustration is a major contributing factor.
  4. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    I find this outright offensive. Men get lonely and want to be loved just as much as women. To say we're suicidal over sex is an insult. Think before you post.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I said many of the men, not all of them. I know that men want to be loved too.
  6. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    It isn't O.k. just because you put in a qualifier. This is a thread about men and women in general. As I said, you need to think BEFORE you post. Not defend it after the fact.
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I think men attempt suicide less because they're better at it - men have an overall higher death rate from suicide, despite fewer attempts. I know that if I tried, I would DIE. So I don't try.

    Also, Dave, please try to be more supportive. A girlfriend to have sex with? No. God no. Hookers cover sex. Girlfriends provide intimacy.
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Lets get back to the topic by the OP. Remember that these are opinions and not necessarily facts.
  9. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member



  10. palmtrees

    palmtrees Well-Known Member

    Yeah they're stereotypes, that's kind of the point. Those are the ways mainstream society expects people to be and when they deviate from them it's assumed there must be something wrong with them.

    I'll take one example, women's worth is tied to their looks and bodies. Is that a fact about women in society, or is it a stereotype about people in general that they value women based on appearance? Basically it's both. If you look at mass media depictions of successful and attractive women, the vast majority look like models, movie stars or athletes, regardless of their actual qualifications or talent (Angelina Jolie, Anna Kournikova, Sarah Palin). On the other hand, a man can look like shit and still be wildly successful (Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Woody Allen).

    I've met a lot of women who are extremely talented and intelligent but they don't see it because they're so insecure about slight imperfections in their looks. Thus you get bulimia, anorexia, body dysmorphic disorder and a bunch of other delightful conditions.
  11. Hey I think what you said here is exactly right, and well written.
    Not all me but the majority of men are like as descibed and same goes for women.
    I definatly think women talk about it more I don't know why, maybe cause I am one, at least last time I checked. = p but yea. :eek:fftopic:

    We are all human after all.
  12. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Interestingly enough i was reading a book that talked about this the other day while i was in the library and it basically said that whilst women are reported to have a higher risk of suicide, guys tend to be the ones who succeed more often. Basically, women speak up i guess, in some cases though not all the time. Whereas guys will tend to, not always, i dont want to generalise, bottle it up and just do it. And so this book basically said that whilst it seemed girls were a higher risk and were reported as more likely, there were a lot more guys who did it and actually finished the job so to speak. If that makes any sense.
  13. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    I don't see what possible difference it makes
  14. palmtrees

    palmtrees Well-Known Member

    The difference it makes is that you can't necessarily expect suicidal men and women to act exactly the same way or to be suicidal for the same reasons, so you want to know how to deal with them both. Unless you meant that there's no difference between them, which study after study has shown to be false.
  15. samanalea

    samanalea Member

    i think women are more likely to talk about being suicidal due to the fact that in the majority women are more likely to talk about their emotions.
  16. GabrielConroy

    GabrielConroy Well-Known Member

    I read some suicide study that said women attempt four times as much as men but men die from suicide twice as often. Either mens preference for violent methods increases the success percentage or women "commit suicide" as a cry for help rather than a wish for death more than men. Both is a possibilty too.
  17. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    This is probably because women are more likely to try getting help, while guys might feel too ashamed to get help. We guys are expected to be the 'stronger sex' and when we get emotional, we feel that it makes us weaker. Also, men choose more violent methods than women do, giving them higher suicide rates.
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