I was thinking little bit... Some things went wrong in my life again and it messes everything good every f?cking time. Was anyone thinking about having "suicide" as a lifestyle or is there anyone who lives that way, I would love to talk with a person like that... I will try to explain what am I talking about, for those who experienced nice things in life and who knows there are better life for you but life was and is just too cruel and f?cked you up big time... So let's say you want to kill yourself because you cannot have X stuff in your life anymore or you can't be person you want anymore, or you can't have money or appeareance or whatever people want.. And you are suicidal for a long time and you are fed up with agony.... If you lead suicide as a lifestyle agony will simply disapear, because there will be only 2 possible outcomes... I will put simple example... You are sick and you have no money... You want to look good and have enough money not to worry about.. In RL you would be suicidal messed for x months or years.. But if you are ready to say "f?ck it" than take some loans, go as far deep in debts everywhere you can, start gamble, start invest or do some 100% risky stuff, you are sick, buy get conected, buy yourself stimulants(not legal stuff), buy every chemistry that will get you up and work out as hard as you can... There ARE chances you will somehow get everything what you want by risking crazy, and there are like 80% chances you will fail and you will be "cornered" and completely messed, but at the end will it be worse than it was? I mean you want to kill yourself.... Im not 100% inspired today so maybe my exapmpe and explanation is not really spot on.. but if someone understands what am I talking about, I would love to hear opinions,..