I feel as if though suicide is my only chance at succeeding in life. I know it sounds weird, but even though I'm not suicidal (generally speaking) anymore I feel like killing myself now would be the easier and more decent thing to do, taking in mind that the alternative is much worse. Of course, there are certain things which I could do to make my life more enjoyable, but I don't see the end results as satisfying enough. And I don't want to continue living like I do because I am doing harm to myself, physically and mentally and I don't want to do that. I don't want to hurt myself. Therefore, death seems to be the easiest way out. I think that there are three ways in which my life could proceed: 1) I work my ass off to better myself in aspects which I think are important and I prove to people who hate me and and want to see me fail that I'm a winner. But that is uncomfortable, the results are uncertain, and when I accomplish those goals I will be left with a feeling of emptiness since there would be nothing more to improve. 2)I continue living as I do and continue to degrade. I cement my status as a failure in the eyes of others and myself. 3) I kill myself, thus avoiding all of this and staying a somewhat decent person in the eyes of others, but I deny myself a life. I just wanted to ask for some sincere advice, since I feel lost. Thank you in advance.