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Suicide atempt

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ana Vicente, May 17, 2016.

  1. Ana Vicente

    Ana Vicente New Member

    Hello everyone. This is my first post here. I feel like I have no one to talk about what I did, at least no one that could understand. This past Sunday I <Mod Edit: Methods> to kill myself, but unfortunately here I am... I don't remember much. I think I saw a nurse picking me up to go to an ambulance, I remember someone at the hospital sticking a tube up my nose and I yanked it off, there was blood everywhere, and then it's all a blank. I woke up and they sent me home and that's when I saw all these cuts on my arms! I don't remember doing it! It's not the first time I <Mod Edit: Methods>, but not enough to lose conscience and almost go into a coma. I feel I can't go on any more. I know there are people going through way worse than me, but I just can't be here just for others... My parents are constantly arguing, and then they argue with me, they are unfair and aggressive, I have a brother that gives me no attention or help and her girlfriend is his priority! He's constantly around her, she knows his family needs his help and doesn't care, everyone loves her and feels pity for her and I'm left on side... I'm the one trying to keep this family together and they are more concerned about her and my brother than me. It might not be that way but it's what they show. Anything I say or do is always wrong... And I'm here feeling I'm selfish and worthless and last Sunday was so much to bear that I truly meant to kill myself... I don't want to be alive, not in a world so selfish, so self destructive, so dangerous, in a world I can't even count on my family to be here for me when I need... I just wanted to get this off my chest... Thank you for reading this.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2016
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hi Ana, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, it's tough not having a support system. I'm glad you're still here though, there is better options, although at this time you may not see them. When you were in hospital, did they offer you any help before your discharge. Usually they assign someone from social work or psychiatry in this situation. I thing it would help you work through you problems and might provide some coping mechanisms, at the very least talking to someone will give you support. Please continue to post here and we will support you as best we can. Take care of yourself and seek some professional help. You're young and life will get better.
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi, and welcome to the forum @Ana Vicente

    I am very sorry about what is going on for you and to hear that you ended up getting so low that this happened, but I'm happy to hear that you survived and that you've had physical care for it.

    Are you getting any therapy or counseling to help you with all of these things you've got on your shoulders? You are certainly not being selfish at all. You need, and you deserve help and support. What about medication?

    You are not responsible for your family, you are a person in your own right, you have to remember yourself too, hun.

    Please try to be kind to yourself, You do deserve to live, and you do deserve to get a better life.