Suicide Attempt Mistery

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Andy73, Sep 27, 2009.

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  1. Andy73

    Andy73 Active Member

    I separated from my wife in June 2007 as it was about 6pm when she told me she has another man and wanted me to leave and she told me I could stay at my friends place and I didn’t like that idea since he was the one sexually assaulting me every time I went to see him and I couldn’t stop it from happening as I’d drink alcohol with him and she had one bag of cloths packed for me to take with me but I took off without the cloths as I was dazed and confused and in disbelief but as I was driving over to my friends place I was thinking that my friend will want me to sleep in his bed and want a relationship out of me and there was no way to stop him from getting to me then as I couldn’t stop him touching me and I felt very scare and afraid of what he want from me moving in at his place and about half way over to my friends place I decided and got strong urges to end my life and I planned the way I was going to achieve it and I got to my friends place in a very distressed state and told him I was going for a drive to think things over and clear my head and I got a lighter off him and some rollie papers off him and I realised I had to go back to my wife and get my bag of cloths which had all my medications in it so not to get anyone alarmed I took the bag of cloths only for the medications then drove to a very dark area down a small lane way of the park in the town which is the main park of town I lived in and I think I took the wedding ring off and started downing my medication but I only had wine to wash the tablets down and went to lay in the back seat of my car that I had at that time and the next thing I can remember is waking up in the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital and then they sent me to the mental health unit to stay there for awhile and the first night I was in the mental unit I woke up with a very bad flu and I couldn’t breathe properly since I had ammonia but in the mental unit I’d get told I was missing for three day before I was found since nobody knew where I was but no one knew who found me either or how the ambulance got to me and I told my friend who would come up to see me where I parked the car last and he eventually found my car in the same place I told him it was and he took my car back to his place but meanwhile in the mental unit they were treating me for a sore I had on one cheek of my ass and they’d patch it every day as I was told it was a compression sore from laying in the same position for so long and they’d do all these tests on me and as I was talking to the physiologist everyday he was asking me how come there was some type of Opiates like morphine in my blood tests when I first came into hospital and I was confused and dumb founded as I know I never took any illicit drugs only the medicines prescribed by my doctor and none of the tablets I took contained any Opiates and still nobody could tell me who found me but I was very stiff and sore especially around my behind but with the compression sore I never felt it when they’d try to clean it as they told me it happened since I was laying on that same area for so long and before I was allowed to go home I had to go back into the hospital to get an operation done on my back side to remove the compression sore so it would heal up quicker and when I woke up after the operation and got a bit scared since there was a tube coming from that area but I felt it came from where they did the operation on the cheek of my ass and other people I knew were telling me that would be scary not knowing anything about them 3 days and that they would hate not knowing what happened in them days I was missing for since anything could of happened and I don’t know a thing about them days or have any clue and when I was released from hospital I stayed with my friend but I kept sleeping on the lounge as I’d tell him I feel more comfortable sleeping alone and even though he didn’t like me sleeping there I was determined to stayed there and I found myself a teddy bear to comfit me and for a bit of security as I felt I needed something to help me to feel a little bit more safer for what I was going through then and the more I recovered the more strength I gained and I eventually got up the courage and told him never to touch me or come near me again but he would still try and he was infatuated and obsessed with me since he was 20 years older than me and old enough to be my father. And the night before the new year of 2008 he finally kicked me out of his place at around 11pm at night since the arguments got worse as I wouldn’t do what he want me to do because I started resisting him allot more and that gave me more incentive to stop seeing him and stop being a friend to him as this love affair or lust he had for me had gone on for 13 years and I was relieved it finally come to an end and never wanted to go back to see him. But I still have the scare on my ass cheek as a reminder of this time in my life and it doesn’t look good as it’s I large scare where they cut the dead meat out and it’s like I’m deformed and scared for life now and I hate being reminded of it or looking at the scare as it’s too ugly But I sometimes wonder and pounder what would of happened to me in them 3 days I was laying in my car Unconscious as I don’t recall anything and anything could of happened to me and I would not of known and I still wonder how them drugs got into my system as I done the suicide attempt and parked the car beside a popular park in the town I live in.
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    You came into a new strength in telling that man no. That is a very big accomplishment. Even more so, you stuck to your no. I'm proud of you.

    While the memories are still there, you do have a new strength. Are you going to therapy? In therapy you can learn not to let this man steal the rest of your life.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    That took alot of courage telling eveything here I hope it helped to release it. Now i hope you can get a therapist to help you heal. You can heal if you get a therapist that deals with trauma and gets you to move through all this and to the other side. Thanks for having courage to share your story I hope you can reachout now and get help you need to move on.
     
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