Suicide Attempts on SF

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by PandorasToybox, Mar 19, 2010.

  1. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I know this post will probably irritate, piss-off, anger or whatever people.
    We all know that not everybody who plans or attempts suicide really wants to die. There is nothing wrong with that. I don't think there is a person in the world who hasnt had the idea cross their mind.
    I can understand that members here post that they are suicidal & are thinking of making an attempt. Im very thankful that we can post topics like that on here.
    It crosses my mind that the people that say they 100% want to die or have to die (?), are posting on a site where they can be tracked down & stopped.
    I would never say that someone doesnt want to die, but it also is very distressing that when these people say they are going to kill themselves & people offer to find them help or tell them to call for help, that they refuse to do it. Im talking about those who site there saying they have followed thru with their method & need help ASAP.
    I can understand if there is a lack of funds or support or availability but when people just become stubborn & refuse & sit here saying they are going to do it & even start talking about their method & saying they've started or are going to start going thru with it. That can be hard.
    I can also understand that the MH system is not a plesant thing to deal with. I have been there. You can bet if they tried to drag me away again I would high-tail it out of here. But at the same time, I find other resources.
    Again, resources can be scarce.
    But I guess what I don't understand is why when there is help available people will refuse it even though they are threatening to die by suicide, but are still posting it on a site where they can be tracked down.
    This doesnt mean ever person threatening suicide on here should be tracked down. BUT when someone becomes acutely suicidal on here, starts making threats, saying they have the means & is refusing help, shouldnt something be done? Even if that means someone calling them, or a crisis team being sent out?
    I didnt post this to be a pain, but it's extremely scary sometimes when people go beyond the ideation & start saying they are going to do it. Many of us are in the same boat & we all know how critical such a situation can become.
    In the case that someone is posting on here & they 100% want to die, then I would say the situation is more serious & something needs to be done. As members who care & reach out to each other then everything should be done to help those members.
    If I offend anyone, I will clarify anything that needs clarifying.
  2. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I agree with most of what you say other than this;
    Who decides on what consititutes a serious attempt and requires intervention? I personally think the purpose of this site is peer to peer support. I really don't think it is appropriate for anyone on SF to intervene in this way.
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I hear you, and I agree. However, I think there are probably many different issues surrounding what you have posted about, which make it a very complex issue indeed.

    I'm not sure how much to say about this to be honest. I have some very strong views, but not sure they will be welcome.
  4. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Ya, & allowing someone to kill themself is better? Peer-to-peer is fine but when someone is sitting there saying they have gone or about to go thru w/ their method, obviously they are needing some sort of help.
  5. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    No, scum all opinions are welcomed. If you have something to say then say it.
  6. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Ok, so I guaranteed some stuff was going to be turned back on me.
    Yes I have made suicide threats & other stuff on here.
    BUT I made my suicide attempt public because I wanted help. I needed some support from others.

    BUT im saying intervention is needed when someone says they HAVE followed thru with the attempt. This might mean that out of 200 threads or whatever, only one intervention is required.

    AGAIN im being very specific, Im not targeting anybody, Im trying to be mean, but YES I give a crap about other peoples lives REGARDLESS of whether or not I know them.
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Ok, Not sure how well this will go down, or come out because my brain is still fuzzy.

    On a site like this you will come across a huge amount of people, but I have found they generally can be categorised. I think pretty much most forums can categorise their users, not just here. Everyone will have different opinions on what they think the 'categories' are here, and that will probably differ depending on where you stand. I'm not going to say what I think the categories are, just mention some of the things you find here.

    I think that on here some types of people respond well to advice, and others don't.

    I think that on here some people are desperate to be saved, and wait for everyone else to fix things for them, when only they can fix things for themselves (often with support). This can mean waiting for someone else to get you help, as opposed to getting it yourself.

    I also think that on here you find many scared people too, so maybe people who have done something on impulse are just terrified and maybe need to be talked round and supported in a very careful manner to try and allay their fears.

    I also think you get those people who want to be stopped, want to be heard and validated and sometimes use this as a place to do it. I understand this one very well, and it can take some very careful talking to try and let a person know they are heard and validated.

    I think self awareness plays a huge part. A lot of the time people do not understand what is really going on for them- probably only people who have had a lot of support or really worked on themselves have good self awareness, and that self awareness plays a part on what people say and do.

    I also think that some of the replies on here are not what people need (because people don't know what they need, but also people don't always know what to say- for a variety of reasons). With replies that work for the person, that person may be able to be talked round to seek help. Maybe more sensitive replies and more understanding of people in general can help with this. Saying something like 'please seek help', or 'we care', or something doesn't get to the root cause of why someone won't seek help and to encourage someone to seek help, that root cause needs to be found and expanded on (if time permits).

    These are just my thoughts on what I have learnt on here and on other websites and also in real life (as well as looking and learning from myself).

    I'll wait to be bashed now.
  8. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Well I don't believe you should be bashed on your opinion. You can catergorize people, I 100% agree.

    But what Im trying to get at is,

    a) If someone makes an attempt it can be critical they get help FAST. Over doses can lead to organ failure & death, hanging can lead to brain damage... I cant sit here listing all the dangers.

    b) People who SPECIFICALLY sit here & say they went thru with an attempt don't post it for no reason. They ARE scared, they do need help.

    I didnt start this as a way to target members. Not by a long shot!
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I was just trying to explain why some people may be reluctant/unable to get help, that's all.
  10. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    And I get that.

    But what I was trying to say is that, for those that decide to go thru with an attempt, & are in danger, all bets are off. They need to have that help, even if its just medical.

    I rarely see such a thread, but when they do pop up on here I wonder why something isnt being done.

    On here should NOT be any different than off-screen situations. Someone is making an attempt, you get them help.
  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm thinking maybe it depends on the situation?

    Although, I'm inclined to think that realising they may get reported will help people realise that actions have consequences, but knowing there is that consequence can be both potentially positive and negative.

    Not all off screen situations involve getting someone help. People like the Samaritans don't seek help for people unless the person gives permission.

    By the way, I'm playing devils advocate and neither disagreeing nor agreeing with you :) Just throwing stuff about.
  12. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    i think a lot of what you say holds a lot of validity...

    there are 2 points that raise questions though with me...

    the first is that there a people every single day on here who say that they have done something, are about to do something or are thinking about doing something... where do you draw the line? where do you think or believe that there is a problem whereby something should be done? the number of times i have seen people post that they have taken a lethal overdose and are posting the next time i cant even count - there are far too many. offering support here - well it is quite possible that it would encourage them to seek help having done this and get themselves to a safe place...

    the other is that the forum IS peer to peer support. it is based on an anonymous basis, we arent here to call authorities on people or to do anything other than what the site is here for - support and friendship. if we were here as people who could trace and track people - then i think that there would be far less people who came and tried to find the support that they need here. they would be scared to post or to ask for help...

    i personally like the way that it is for MYSELF... i like to be fairly anonymous with most people. there are a few that have my contact details etc. but i think if the forum changed the way it worked it could have a more detrimental effect rather than positive...

    just my thoughts :shy:
  13. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I can respect that. There are always two sides.

    I'm not trying to take sides.

    But for those who decide to go thru with the plan & post it on here, they need help.

    But there is also the issue of did they really make an attempt? Who knows but it should be taken as if they have.

    Off-screen a lot of people dont receive help because people look away. Out of sight, out of mind.

    I totally understand why some people are reluctant to receive help. I never jump at the idea either.

    As well it's horrible to think that if someone posted on here they made an attempt, & they do end up passing away, it would bug me to think that something could have been done.
  14. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Like Scum said (correct me if Im wrong) people can be categorized & you can tell between those that make a post everyday (I dont keep track) & those that have a "isolated" (as in...more rarely?) crisis.

    Does this mean to jump on every persons back?


    We are talking about those who say they've made the attempt, sit there saying that they can feel the method doing damage or whatever.

    I know for a fact that other members have had help sent to them. So it is possible.

    AGAIN Im not saying to do this for every single suicidal post made.
  15. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    I 'made' an attempt whilst on here. It did'nt make any difference to my 'attempt',and it was my first ever, there was only one way out. But the very fact that one person, the only person in the whole world, cared enough to stay talking to me, meant i was'nt going to die alone. And here, is the only place i found that comfort.

    I'm not sure what it is i'm trying to say, but thats how it was.
  16. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Ands that's fine, I'm not attacking anybody. ... ugh
  17. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Who are we to decide who might or might not go through with their plans though? I know there are many people who do, but there are also some that don't. There are people who post what they do because they need support ... need to be heard and taken seriously, need to know someone's listening.

    Just because we aren't contacting the authorities doesn't mean we're looking away.

    if we were here as people who could trace and track people - then i think that there would be far less people who came and tried to find the support that they need here. they would be scared to post or to ask for help...

    Agree 100%. If people thought we were going to report them anytime they posted about a possible attempt, chances are they just wouldn't post. They wouldn't reach out to get the support they need.
  18. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Ugh NVM people are missing the point...just the bloody thread...
  19. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    I'm not saying you are attacking anybody, i'm just saying how it was for me. Thats how i was, when i 'found' this forum

    And with that, i'm not saying anymore
  20. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I wasnt specifying who would & wouldnt...

    Even on here some members are taken more seriously than others, so yeah people on here do decide who can & cant be taken seriously..