suicide attempts

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Advice-seeker, Aug 6, 2007.

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  1. Hi Guys, i was hoping that by posting on here i would get a whole range of different views, answers and advice as to a problem my partner and i are facing at the moment which has been ongoing for several months. We met last october and rapidly hit it off, starting a lighthearted fun filled relationship which was never meant to get serious as he was due to go travelling for 6 months the follow and past january. His departure datecame and although by this time our feelings had grown beyond control he left for his travels and we both started our lives over again without each other around. However, a few weeks into his travelling i discovered that i was pregnant and after discussing this with him we decided that we we're to make a go of it as a family. He wanted to come home which myself and his family advised him not to because at those early stages of pregnancy not a lot can be done by way of support. He came home after 6 weeks travelling. Our time spent before his travelling was often out with friends drinking and doing cocaine for social use but in time i learnt that he had a bit more of an issue with it in the sense that the drug controlled him rather than him controlling the drug and he was unable to say no to it where as i could. The august prior to meeting him i understand he took 6 ecstacy tablets in the hope that this would end his life after what i know of to be the ending of the relationship he was in at the time. It was because of this attempt that one of his good friends decided to get him away from the rea and she suggested that they go travelling as a form of rehab for him. Then came me who was a new life and soul, up for a laugh and unbeknown to his previous problems not a great influence on him and his drug habit. On his arrival back home from thailand our relationship had very much changed as i wasnt going out doing our usual things anymore for obvious reasons, i was sick and constantly tired which he mistook as me not caring for him. We argued a lot and he was still on drugs and lting to me about where he was going and places he had been. I felt he was very much torn between doing the right thing as a parent to be and still being a single bloke wanting to go out with the lads, in time the pressure became too much on him and without discussing it with me he booked his flight back out to oz to join his travelling friend. I asked him not to go and felt as if he was running away from his responsibilities as a father but he went and this added to the already bitter relationship we had. While out travelling this second time he slept with a girl we both know and worked with who happened to be travelling at the same time. They shared a brief relationship before i came on the scene last year and in time i grew to be friends with her too before they both left, She was the one that held my hand as i did my pregnancy test. Although we were not together at the time this has caused a lot of distrust in our relationship that we are now trying to salvage but at the weekend, after another argument concerning trust he went out and took an overdose and is now recovering in hospital. I am 7 months pregnant. I dont know what to do. Does he really want to die? Is there something more going on beneath the surface that we are all unaware of? How do i help him? You wouldnt look at him and see that there was someone depressed there, he's full of energy, very kind spirited, has a very playful nature, rarely unhappy but very sensitive which im still learning the degree of. He looks forward to the arrival of his son and tries his very best to make amends the things that have gone wrong between us. With my lack of trust this doesnt help as my barriers are up to protect myself from being hurt again. I discovered yesterday that this is the second overdose in a month he has attempted, whilst on holidat recently after an argument then he took what medication i had taken with me which wasnt alot but that is irrelevant. I dont know where to go from here, hopefully he will be discharged within a few days from hospital where he will come back home and i will care for him but i have never dealt with something like this before and fear i will go wrong and he attempts another way of trying to take his life. It seems like his lifes worth is based on his relationships happiness. What if he realises that overdosing isnt working and tries another means. How do i know he's unhappy when he always seems so happy? Im sorry this has turned out to be a very long post but i guess without all the facts then the right advise can not be given, ive tried to give as much info as possible in the hope that someone can help me make help my fiance get out of this stage that he's in.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Not a lot of help here, but tbh the first port of call is the docs to get him off the cocaine; until he's drug free and his "normal" self it will be very hard to gauge just what is going on with him.
    Also hun, when that baby comes you are going to need all the help you can get. You're going to feel tired, you might get the baby blues and babies just take up all your time and attention. Make sure you have people to support you. :hug:
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Does he want to change or do you want him to change? this seems to be the most critical issue...if he wants to change, there are many qualified professionals who can assist him...many ppl self-medicate and 'attempt' su in the hope that the pain will reduce...most ppl who do this repeatedly use the idea of exiting as their means to control pain...ppl want out of pain much more than out of life...in either case, only he can do the work necessary to be in the world...your support and caring is critical, but plez do not give away anything you do not have right now...hope things take a turn for the better...big hugs
     
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