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suicide calling my name

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by na-taya, Oct 23, 2015.

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  1. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Nobody cares about me so why should I care

    Suicide it more and more appealing.

    I get rejected and shunned in everything. I am not important and never will be.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    Sorry I only saw this post now. Are you feeling any better now? I hope you just had a bad night and are okay now x
  3. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    na-taya, I am sorry that you are feeling this way, I don't know you well I believe I have spoken to you once, I will say right now I care, i care for 2 reasons, One is that I did not see this before now, Two is that I have not had a chance to say hi and get to know you before now!
    I do care I will not reject you nor will I shun you!
  4. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Petal I wish it was just for the night but nope, no such luck....but thanks for taking the time to reply to me

    True lee thanks for taking the time to reply also. I still find that very hard to believe:(. Everyone always leaves me at some point, no one even hangs around for long. The only person who stayed around was my ex. He stayed 6.5 years longer than anyone.

    I feel like a forgin object on this planet not made for me.

    So I don't understand why people would care if I needed it all soon. Don't see why others should care with who wants to live or die....

    I'm so tied I don't want.to live this way anymore actually I don't want to live anyway....

    I'm sick of going through the motions of life....I don't know how long I can hold on for
  5. JeepReaper

    JeepReaper New Member

    You and me both.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    ((big gentle hugs))

    You are going through a horrid time and feeling the way you do is expected. You DO matter and you are important, fuck with anyone else says. No one wants you to die, I for one would be very sad if I heard you had passed away. I have great time for you and wish you all the best. You are important :)
  7. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    na-taya, We care for you because, we feel what you feel inside, when you or others in here hurt, we do, as well, we know on a lot of levels what you are going through, I am very sensitive to others feelings! I am empathetic as well, it to me is not a positive I some times often feel others pain viscerally I am very emotional as a result, I often cry when I read or hear what someone is going or has gone through!
    I am tired too, from my own pain just like you , I do not know much of what you have gone through, it is not that I don't care because I do, sometimes it can really upset me, I as a result cannot process or comment on what has caused me discomfort! That is my reaction as well as my reason! Take care of yourself na-taya, Be gentle on yourself as well!
  8. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    True lee, I'm sorry you feel others pain so deeply that not fair, I understand empathy but when.it hurts you I wish I could help you not feel so much pain.....I definitely appreciate the time you have taken to respond to me then, it means a lot to me I'm really not worthy of such time.

    Petal thanks for all your care it's too kind and am definitely not use to it at all!!

    I will keep fighting I just don't know when the day I will break I'm becoming so weak it hurts to open my eyes I just wish I could sleep till this passes....I'm getting weaker and weaker I'm so fragile I'm scared
  9. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    na-taya, I did not mean to have you feel sorry for me, you just made a good reason for me to care about you, you have empathy for me!
    I Thank You for responding to me,When you are down it is so difficult to think straight an to concentrate on the good things, The chemicals start pumping into your system it throws you off, it is hard to see what is Bright and Beautiful in the world. The world is not perfect, not by any means but it is still A Beautiful and wondrous place.
    You have cats as well? Mine have kept me alive for now, I cherish every one of mine, They do love unconditionally, without reservation, They can tell when I am upset, sick or just out of sorts, they resort to their ministrations as they see fit. I have lost 3 in the past 3 years, that is why I am here now, they are and have been my only reason for living these past few years. I am down to 2 cats now one is 18 an in poor health have had her since she was a tiny kitten that was sick an almost died I just lost her last kitten Smootsie bonded with me at her birth an has been one of most Cherished, was one of an unexpected litter of 4 that I got as a surprise more or less, The other is 8 an now my baby, Flicka is A Maine Coon Cat I have had her 6 years she was a neglected and abused Stray that is now my Buddy! Please don't give up, I would like to know more about your Feline Family. Take care of yourself,if your cats are like mine............ They know where you are and what you are going through! I thought I would start writing the stories of how I got my lost 3 , I have more that I can share, I think it could help some other cats and Cat people as well! I will see what happens! FYI I made the decision to write their stories Because of another in here and then you when I found out you have cats as well!
  10. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    How am I ment to fight when I no longer know what I'm fighting for......I'm scared and can't trust anybody in my life.......I'm lost and afraid I'll never find my way.

    Gee I'm sorry, bye
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi hun I sometimes feel lost and afraid too,,it's just a part of mental illness I believe. Self praise is no praise but you can trust and count on me. Are you safe right now??
  12. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    I think I'll be safe enough:\:\

    I want out I really do but I have to be realistic I have my cats who I would need to take care of first before I left......but don't make it hurt any less...in broken yet again I'm scared the peices are to small to be picked up after so many breaks.
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