I am thought of as a catfish online, a prick in real life, and I have little to no friends. I go against site rules and now I'm reaping what I've sewn. I'm glad in a way that I got in trouble. I need to be told when I mess up. But in real life it's always to harsh. I'm always told what I mess up by being screamed at or beaten. I'm sick of being catfish for women. I'm sick of being everyone's punching bag. I just want to kill myself. I don't know why that'd be a bad thing anyhow. I am just thought of as fake on the internet anyhow. There are no new starts. That's what life taught me. Not to keep going. I don't want pity or empathy. I just want friends. I think if I killed myself I'd have nothing to worry about anymore.