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Suicide fantasy through. movies

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Well-Known Member
Hi firstly sorry if I drag on a bit on this post. I just wanted to perhaps see if I could get anyone who might relate to what i'm doing about with a certain method of "psyhosis" I use through the aid of certain scenes on movies.

I find that when i'm feeling messed up and suicidal it tends to "release negative energy" when I play certain scenes from movies and pretend I am the person in them that has died. It sounds insane I know but its what I seem to do alot. There is this one movie its kind of an offbeat movie with Jet Lee called "Meltdown" came out 2002 I beleive. This movie has a nostalgic effect over me as when I first saw it in 2002 I was happier and have closer memories at that time of the millenium new year happening and seems I automatically connect that feeling with this movie. There is a scene at the end of this movie where the main Villan dies by poisoning and the way this scene is built up and eventually happens is very well done. Here is a little dialogue from it so maybe you can get an idea of the tension:

(after disarming a bomb back where the badguy and him clashed before, the villan and the hero talk.)
Goodguy: This time you lose.
Villan: Oh no not by a longshot, there are still crimes to commit bombs to set people to kill, raping robbing and pillaging....you won the battle but not the war!! (laughs)
Goodguy: How are you feeling? is your shoulder numb....is your nose bleeding? do you feel faint.....
(badguy notices his nose is bleeding and perhaps his shoulder where he was stabbed is starting to become numb and becomes worried)
Goodguy: .......its snake venom. The knife I stabbed you with was coated with it. If you run for help the poison might spread but no risk no reward.
(badguy gets increasingly worried)
Badguy: It cant be.
(badguy finds himself rapidly deteriating with the poison so makes a run from the phonebox he was calling from to try and get help with that he falls on the floor closeby on the sidewalk making sounds of pain and panic. He see's 3 youths on skateboards coming his way and asks them to help him in which they look at each other at first unsure what to do then all jump onto him relieving him of his jewelry and his wallet then they leave quickly. The final shot of the badguy shows him sprawled out on the sidewalk as dead as a dodo with the wind of the night blowing his hair and a newspaper blows into his face before a longshot of him then into the next scene.

The way the scene is done is powerful. The music is tense and dramatic and fits the scene. Sounds crazy I know but I imagine myself as the badguy (not that i'm bad but its just a person) I imagine myself dying on the pavement perhaps in the area I used to live in my life when I was happier and when was nearer the millenium time I assosiate this movie with. It kind of relieves me of pain and I dont really know why. It might just be me and please dont call me nuts or whatever but can anyone relate to what the hell i'm talking about? Does anyone have any similar tendancies when it comes to death scenes in certain movies. Thx.


Well-Known Member
I think I can relate. There is a video circulating on the internet. This politician was convicted of some white collar crime, embezzling money or something. Anyway, the day before his sentencing he held a press conference. He was facing up to 25 years in prison, but swore he was innocent. Anyway, in front of news cameras and all he pulls a powerful pistol and shoots himself with it. It is the bloodiest, goriest thing I have ever seen, and it is real. No movie special effects. I don't recommend anyone watch it. But I watch this video and imagine that that is how I will look. I wouldn't say it is all that comforting, usually pretty distressing, but for some reason I watch it.


Well-Known Member
Yeh I have seen that clip its pretty disturbing like the way the blood just buckets out of his nose after he fires the weapon into his mouth. Its also kinda confusing as one of the people sais "call a doctor". Why?!?!? look at the guy he's dead as a doornail! lol. Poor soul.


Well-Known Member
Yeah, I guess nobody knew what to say really. That would be a very confusing ordeal for any of the spectators, I'm sure they were all confused as what to say or do.

I wouldn't do it in public. I wouldn't want anyone to see me do that horrible act. I wouldn't ever want my corpse to be found after I did such as thing. But I have the same caliber of weapon that he used in the video, so I suppose if I ever decided to use it, I would end up looking a lot like him. One thing I guess that is comforting in the video is the fact that he seemed to die instantly, probably didn't feel a thing because it was so quick.
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