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Suicide Forum Dating??

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ConstantCraving, May 26, 2009.

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  1. Okay this is going to sound very strange and I don't want to post under my actual username because I'm a little embarrassed to be mentioning it I suppose because I'm not sure how people will react to it but, so many of us on here complain that we are lonely and friendless and loveless and without boyfriends and girlfriends.

    I do know someone who is dating someone they met on this website and I myself once met and dated someone I met on another depression forum.
    I personally feel that I would rather be with someone who could love and understand me and my issues and someone who had issues themselves that I could love and understand. Where we could accept each other for who we were.
    If there was a dating part of SF would that be overboard? Do you think that might hinder peoples progress or is it just highly inappropriate or do people feel that maybe two people with issues dating would be a bad thing? I'm thinking it would be a good way to get some people who are craving love together and inject a little happiness.
    Because personally having just read a post from a guy who said he has a nerdy face and feminine hips and another from a guy who said he is so ugly he wouldnt even try to get sex because he knows it wouldnt happen, i personally look past things like this and look into a persons heart and i know many of us do also, maybe that right person is just around the corner for some of us?

    What do others think?
  2. SF is NOT a dating site!
    And I'm tired of people treating it that way... you've got loads 'match.com' etc.
    This is supposed to be a place for people who feel suicidal... not for people who want to get laid...
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Ummm... Well, a girl here and I started a thing here a while back... Turns out that putting two emotionally unstable people together is bad, bad news. She no longer posts here nor talks to me. My abandonment issues got worse, and she lost her support. I think we're both pretty much fucked because of it. Hooray!
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni


    That hardly seems appropriate.
  5. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I think it's actually not a bad idea. Having a dating portion of the site not turning it into a dating site per se (doh). Not everybody who wants to date someone is just after getting laid, some people are genuinely looking for love and support.

    But then again Aeou maybe you are right, two suicidal people together could just be hazardous and asking for trouble. I had this convo with my friend yesterday and he said if we were in the same country he'd love me and support me unconditionally even though he doesn't have similar issues - he understands mine. I thought that was very sweet!
    Surely it'd be easier finding somebody like that then finding someone who is leaning against you as much as you are leaning against them?
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    It seems attractive to the lonely, but I'm inclined to believe it's a very, very bad idea... Because a little more is at stake than your typical relationship, since you're both fighting death... And you're both probably not all that capable of relationships in general. I would strongly suggest against it, and I know that it's not going to be allowed.
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Nope. Hurts too much. Been there,done that,even bought the fucking tshirt. Thought he was what he promised he was. Turned out to be the opposite and this was a member that many here was certain the same way I was that he was a great fellow. He was and still is dangerous.
  8. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    I don't know if this is a good idea or not... but for me it doesn't matter, because I will NEVER date anyone again. I am in love with ONE man, and if I don't get to be with him, I will be alone forever... I will never date again!
  9. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    That's always a danger, on the internet or otherwise. No one goes on a date with an abusive guy... But many do with abusers-to-be.

    Virtually all of my friends I met on the Internet. Honest people are honest, period. Dishonest people mislead you, period.
  10. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    I don't think its a bad idea at all tbh. Half of us here have social anxiety issues that prevent us from functioning in the world normally. Also would be good for ppl to help them find like minded ppl trying to recover and so forth.

    Its not like you can go on eharmony or some shizzle and be like "Im a depressed person, never really had much luck etc etc etc"

    Besides, I think those sites are bunk anyway. I could be wrong though.

    sure there are bad apples, but there are bad apples everywhere

    I say go for it :)
  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Well you said you have met someone on a depression forum. I think inevitably it will happen on these forums. A section for it would be nice, but there would be a couple problems with that. People here a hurt, broken, abused... it would be VERY easy for someone to get taken advantage of. Also, this is not really the goal of the site. Like I said, it may happen anyway, which is great, but I don't think there is any chance there will be a part of this site which is dedicated to it.

    I personally find I connect best with other people who are suicidal/depressed. They understand, and everyone wants someone who understands. I usually subconsciously, and sometimes consciously, seek out these kind of people in real life. I usually find out soon enough that they had a horrible childhood, or something like that. It's like I can see it in their eyes, that they know the deep suffering that I know.

    I met this girl Katie in the psych ward. She was great. We were intimate but she didn't want to date because it was a big age difference (she's 7 years older). When we talk about suicide, it's brought up in conversation just like anything else. Like, how's the weather? But you bring it up with some other people, and they are shocked. OMG why? what's wrong why would you want to do that etc. etc. I much prefer to be able to talk about it with someone who understands. And it's not like we bring each other down. We support each other.
    Anyway sorry if that went off topic a bit. Just sharing my experience of being intimate with someone else who is suicidal.

    Maybe I'll rant a little bit more :laugh:. The worst part is that since so many people who have depression experience rejection, sometimes the littlest thing can drive them away, so I have to be careful not to set them off. This happened with the last girl I was kind of dating.

    But still, I would much rather date someone going through similar things. Someone who knows how deep suffering can go. But I guarantee you they won't dedicate a part of the site to this. :heart: :hug:
  12. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    Ok, possibly i am either one of the last or maybe one of the first people that should say somthing here i guess, as i am in a relationship with somone whom i met from this site.

    I wont say its easy because it isnt, but neither is a 'normal' relationship.

    I will say,,,, that I am sure there are those people out there who will abuse it, they will prey on others, target them and it could end up causing more damage,,,

    I have read from some replies that people think it would be a good method of getting love and support,, i dont think that people who come to a suicide forum for support are in the best situation to give support,not on a one to one basis,,,
    just my opinion, maybe im wrong
  13. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    It's working well for me atm .. though not so well in the past.

    I think it depends on how stable you both are...
  14. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    i dont think i could handle another relationship from someone here, i struggle with my own life and keeping myself afloat, but having someone else... i couldnt...
  15. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I think if people meet here and decide it is safe for them to get together and want to take the chance, thenthey can do so. I don't believe it is something to be encouraged by setting up a place on the forum to do that. There are simply too many risks involved. What a better place for a predator to look than a place where vulnerable people are looking for acceptance.
  16. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I was looking at the posts, one by one, trying to formulate an opinion. Then the last post I read by "gentlelady" summed up exactly what I was going to say. So since it was just said, I second the opinion above.
  17. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

  18. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Ditto, I'm on board with Gentle lady and Shades.. I think people here are to vulnerable..
  19. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    or the person suggesting this is a predator, I have warned of dangers like this before. This is a support site people come here for help not to be hit on or chatted up. Besides we all know I'd get first dibs on mdmefontaine. :showoff:
  20. too late lol
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