Suicide Forum

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rachael41, Jun 17, 2008.

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  1. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    Iv tried to commit suicide so many times yet had so many failures. It really shows no one cares because everyone is oblivous to my attempts to be free.

    I overdosed about 6//7 months ago, and ended up retching for the whole night, and waking up the next day. As you can imagine i was very disappointed !!!

    Even though none of my family/friends know hw i feel, im now terrified that i will try to kill myself only to fail and be found by someone?
    i would hate to have to go through the pain of sitting and explain why i hate myself and and why i hate them.

    people always say that those who have suicidal feelings are attention seakers .but i completely disagree with this! i know myself and i believe i am completely sane when i say this..............I WANT TO DIE. and im sure many others will agree with this

    I just want to know if others agree that sometimes making the decision to end your life and actually go through with it is difficult because your afraid of being "saved" and having to justify ur actions?

    Please reply because i really wnt to know if others agree?
    I know thats why im afraid to go through with it, but i wonder if anyone else feels that same fear?
     
  2. GaiaMischief

    GaiaMischief Well-Known Member

    I've only attempted once, and I was truly hoping I'd die, but I also subconsciously hoped that if God was cruel enough to let me live that it would make things change and make people care about me again.

    I know alot of people try to make light hearted attempts at suicide with this intention in mind to try to make people realize they are in crisis. For me it was just a secondary thought.

    I can understand not wanting to explain yourself though. It's very hard to make people you know personally understand your problems and why you want to die.
     
  3. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I have done a few attempts as I want to join someone on the otherside. I once nearly got caught 1/4 way through by a stranger, but left before they could see. Other attempts I have not told anybody about. If I was an attention seeker I would have let people know what I did or would have purposely been caught. I prefer people not to know so I don't end up being sectioned, but it is hard to keep it inside.
     
  4. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    i want to die too. sometimes. the only thing is 1) no matter how badly friends or family treat me, i don't want to just be like, "Oh, i'm dead now. take care of my body. too much blood? oops sorry for that." and 2) same as you. if i was caught and people asked me why. . . i just don't want to have to live through that too. not only that, i don't want people saying that my suicide was a "selfish" act. i don't know. maybe, if there really is a God, he has something planned for all of us. i honestly don't know. maybe that's another reason why.
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please guys, don't kill yourselves. Things can and do get better. Never give up on life. :hug:
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Yes I have tried but I woke up the next day feeling like shit. My feet and ancles, and my hands were all swelled up from the pain killers. Am I still suicidal, yes I fight it dailey! It's easy to die, but a bitch to live.
    I know eventually I will do it. I am already dead so why not make it unanimous. My only draw back is my daughter and my grandaughter. I never get to see them so I hope it will not affect them.:chopper:
     
  7. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    thanx everyone i was just afraid that i was the only who felt that.

    its just so stupid that i worry about it. Surely if i planned carefully and was accurate enough there would be no mistakes or "surviving"?

    i mean i read on the internet recently that some guy tried to commit suicide by jumping from a buildiing,but instead he damaged both his legs and now hes paralysed and in a wheelchair?

    For some reason ithink life is this big sick game. & we r being tested and the only way out is killiing ourselves. It sems asthough god (if there is one) is trying to separate the weak from the strong?
    To me we are being pushed to our limits intentionally just to see if we will break?

    Well im sorry but iv cracked under the pressure and i want to forfeit the game!!!!
     
  8. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    thanx everyone i was just afraid that i was the only who felt that.

    its just so stupid that i worry about it. Surely if i planned carefully and was accurate enough there would be no mistakes or "surviving"?

    i mean i read on the internet recently that some guy tried to commit suicide by jumping from a buildiing,but instead he damaged both his legs and now hes paralysed and in a wheelchair?

    For some reason ithink life is this big sick game. & we r being tested and the only way out is killiing ourselves. It sems asthough god (if there is one) is trying to separate the weak from the strong?
    To me we are being pushed to our limits intentionally just to see if we will break?

    Well im sorry but iv cracked under the pressure and i want out
     
  9. frankie626

    frankie626 Active Member

    I don't know if theres a single person here on this forum that doesn't understand how u feel.. i've thought about it many times and made more than my fair share of attempts. on one of my attempts i was asleep for over 3 days.. i didn't understand it at the time but now i see things more clearly. it simple was not my time to go. not meaning that i am "invincible". life can have so many twist and turns.. some are bad and yes i've had my bads.. a lot of bads at that.. but a lot of great things happened and thank god i've failed that night. i've met some great people and have made a tremendous impact on the people around me.. think about all the positive things u've done for the people u love. its easy to lie and say that everyone would be happy but deep down u know its a lie because u can't tell me that no one would cry for u. i was present when a man jumped off a high-rise building and ended his life. witnesses that were just there cried for the man. people were sad and in shock. they called it a waste. i agree with them now. it is a waste. ur capable of doing great things and helping many people. make a difference with ur life. someones counting on u
     
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