Suicide Ideation And Why We Post Goodbye Threads

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Godsdrummer, Feb 26, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    First of all, Good Morning everyone.

    I was thinking about this on my way to work this morning.

    I have read posts here and at another site, where people get burned by members who really arent suicidal but rather post like they are.

    I think that the reason why, and I can only speak for myself, that people post threads where they threaten to end it all, or to say goodbye, due to suicidal ideation. BTW.....suicidal ideation is a symptom of both major depression and bipolar depression.

    Now I have posted several "wanting to end it all or goodbye" type threads here. Most recently yesterday.

    Why? I mean I am still here.

    I think that the reason is that when we post these kind of topics, we do so because we actually want to do it. Again I can only speak for myself, but I really wanted to die yesterday. I even came fairly close last night to doing the deed. However once again I opened my big fat mouth, and told someone, and hence I am still here.

    It seems to me that there there is a line in the sand. Once that line is crossed, then there is no turning back.

    I have read alot about suicide online over the past 6 months, and I tend to think that the people that actually go thru with it, cross that line in the sand.

    They may have been at one point like us. Threatening, maybe posting online, reaching out to friends, family, coworkers, etc. But at some point, they crossed that line.

    They stopped talking. They stopped all communication and just went ahead and did it.

    What worries me, is...will the day come when I cross that line?

    What are your thoughts on this subject?
  2. Oni

    Oni Active Member

    I don't think telling people that you're going to leave is a way of telling you're ending your life... I think it's a cry for attention or help.

    At least to me it is, I don't think I'll go on elaborate posts on forums telling that I'm kiling myself, however people at least saw it coming and probably any help offered wasn't sufficient... if people even bothered.
  3. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    I'm inclined to agree with the both of you. The people I've known on SF who have crossed that line have done so without telling a soul.
  4. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    and yet statistically the majority of successful suicides have told someone of their intention... so does not always follow
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    That's interesting.
  6. Oni

    Oni Active Member

    Well, I would pretty much tell people I'm thinking of commiting suicide, however, it still is uncertain when it may happen. Hence, yes... most people told it, though not everyone has done it immediately after they told so.
  7. ame solitaire

    ame solitaire Well-Known Member

    I dont believe in the term "attention seeking".I prefer "affection seeking"-I see it as people reaching out-saying "who cares enough to notice/respond?"

    People need(we all do)reassurance that we are wanted/needed and that somebody cares that we are in pain...

    i have experienced this situation going a step too far-I had a friend who I believe accidentally commited suicide.Im absolutely certain that he didnt intend to actually die.I have had 2 friends kill themselves-but his death bothers me most of all.13 yrs on I wonder what sort of person he might have been except for that one day...:sad:
  8. kombatx

    kombatx Active Member

    I think for most it's like a repetition before the actual attempt. Well, we all know that, despite any religious background, we won't be here to see the reaction and consequences of the suicide when we do it.
    Posting goodbye threads and such is a sublimation of this, a sneak peek at the public reaction that would probably be the same in case of real suicide.
  9. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I think it is a cry for help of sorts because you are not really sure yet if you really can do it, you want to think you can, but you are just not sure. So, you find an outlet to test the waters and you realize you just aren't ready to go yet, despite your desire to, something is keeping you here and that pain you are feeling forces you to cry out to anyone, in hopes that they will listen and care. The pain become so intolerable that one way of letting others know how intolerable it is, is by posting here and making a claim of a final exit, because then, just maybe someone will take your pain seriously. Otherwise, only your death will convince people how serious your pain was. Until then, most people are doubtful.
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I really bantered that idea around with my own situation many times. Me I really believe I do it because my whole life I've felt like I never really existed compared to the rest of the people in my life. Posting is just my way of I guess feeling like atleast someone knew I was trying. That my last efforts werent wasted. And unfortunately something said in a thread or pm gets in my thoughts and screws up the attempt in one way or another. The other side of my coin is that when I post I am truly suicidal and if successful I dont want to become just another guessing game for members. Both selfish reasons but then I guess when one is that close to "crossing the line" they should be entilted to a moment of selfishness. Sorry I understand what I'm saying but cant seem to express it any better for the readers.
  11. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    with all my previous attempts ive never told anyone of how i feel or said goodbye because i didnt want to be convinced that living could be worthwhile. i just wanted to die. plain and simple. it just seemed easier not to say a word because i didnt want to go with anyone knowing what i was going to do and so i never did say a word.
  12. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I strongly associate my current feelings with C. I've lived through several family suicides and I know the absolute destruction it leaves behind. As you said FPS, suicide ideation is a symptom of Major Depression and Bipolar disorder - both are diseases with a 15% fatality rate. So besides venting some really negative impulses, and besides passively asking for help, it's also a very important thing for any survivor I may leave behind (should I submit to the disease) to be able to see that my struggles with melancholia and suicide are not pleasurable for me, nor a social choice I made rationally.

    Posting also, for me, helps explore exactly why I feel why I do. There's no reason for me to want to cry in the middle of a class. There's no reason why any sane person would have an impulse to [method] themselves several times in the chest. It's similar to cognitive therapy where you have to examine just how crazy some of your thoughts are.

    We're used to hearing about schizophrenics and their struggles with phantoms. But people suffering from suicide ideation have a very similar struggle. Unfortunately, society doesn't separate suicide from the person suffering as much as they should. I believe the concept of free will and suicide is almost always a false coupling. I also believe that suicide is a desire to escape pain is also a false element. I think the one underlying , driving element of suicide is mental illness.

    I also write. So if I feel it's necessary to describe how my prostate is doing, you can bet I feel it necessary to describe anything involving my possible death. It's a posthumous diarist thing.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 26, 2009
  13. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    for me personally, if i were in the "motions" of doing, i wouldnt come on and say oh goodbye cruel world.
    i would just go do it. and i have attempt so in that way twice since being here. never said a thing, and people here only know of one of those 2 instances.
    tahst just me, i know i want to go. its just all timing from here on out, just cause i want to go doesnt mean i still cant enjoy a select few things. i may die of old age due to still enjoying those select things, but we dont know that.
    so its a waiting game.
  14. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I put that one sentence in bold, because that is hitting the nail on the head.

    However I also think that for some people if you add to mental illness, the effects of the physical world, ie..terminal illness, or some other catostrophic life event like loosing a job, car repo, eviction, divorce etc...those things coupled with the mental illness is a recipe for disasester.
  15. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I have had three attempts, the one back when I was thirteen is the closest I came to succeeding. For each attempt I never said anything to anyone because it was my buisness and they didn't need to be involved..Now that I am older I know when I am close so I go in the hospital until it passes. Being on the forum has helped me tremendously from all the support I have received here..

    P.S. I like the new avatar!!
  16. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Wow who gave you my recipe?(lol) Yep mental health issues must be dealt with by the powers that be with more determination and zeal.

    "Depression (and mental health issues) is an illness, not a personal flaw or weakness. It is a very complicated illness that does not discriminate, no matter your age, gender, race, religious beliefs, social status, education or physical health. Depression ( and mental health issues) can ruin people's finances, careers and relationships if not dealt with honestly and seriously. It can tear families apart and if left untreated or not accepted as a real problem, it can be deadly."

    "1 in 5 North Americans ( 20% of the population) today are likely to experience a diagnosable mental illness"

    "By 2020 it is estimated that depressive illnesses will become the second leading cause of disease burden worldwide and the leading cause of developed countries like Canada."

    For those of us suffering from mental health issues this is all information we know all too well. Now it's time for the rest of the population to be educated about it too. Isolation is all too common among those that suffer from mental illnesses. Sadly it is one way that many of us try to treat our problems. And it is one of the worst things you can do. But how else do you "deal" with your problems when most of the rest of the population keeps trying to isolate themselves from the real and underlying problems of mental health issues?

    Sorry didnt mean to turn your thread into an editorial (lol). But if people dont let others know how they are truly feeling it appears that no one else is going to be able to tell how dire it is on their own. Too many people wouldnt be able to "see" the signs of mental health issues on their own. They are just not educated about such stuff. But yet almost everyone now can tell you atleast one symptom of stroke! Yet strokes are very discriminating and are preventable with simple life style changes, mental health issues arent!
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 26, 2009
  17. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    In my opinion, people post such threads because they want to be stopped. They desperately want to be given a reason to keep on living, to be told by absolute strangers that they are worth it and to try and find some worth in themselves. Alternatively, another reason could be that by saying they're going to do it to a website full of people, they think they'll find the courage or the means to go ahead with it. Thinking it and saying it are different things, and once you say you're going to do something, it might spur you on to actually do the deed, or make what you're planning to do more real? I'm not sure. Basically I think there are many different reasons why someone might post such a thread, and there is no "one" reason. We're all individuals after all, and we all have individual reasons for doing what we do.
  18. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    I think, sometimes, people just don't want to die in silence, alone.

    Or else they are making one final desperate cry for help, with the subtext "I'm about to die, is there anything that can possibly save me now?"

    But the reasons are complex. It depends on the individual.
  19. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    It is mostly I think that the depression is so great that they NEED the attention and support, and URGENTLY. I've posted a couple saying about how easily I could do it.

    When the time comes I'm sure I will be at home, no one answering their phones, nowhere to go, nothing to do, loneliness engulfs me, and then I'm out. I wouldn't bother to come on here and post it, or call the hospital, because then I'd still be alive, which is not what I want. I call the hospital when I want help.
    It's obvious they can't help me (after three trips), but that's another story.
  20. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    I disagree with almost everything on this thread, yet I'm reluctant to express myself in too much detail, since I have no desire to either be put under moderation or banned. As in, I started to type a rather long response, but realized it would do nothing but piss others off, and probably get me in a bit of hot water to boot. And for no real point or purpose. So I didn't bother submitting the post.

    I was going to let it go and go on my merry way, until it dawned on me that this might be a reason why others stop posting at SF or another pro-life site when they've decided suicide is in fact the proper course of action. Posting on the topic here would simply give them aggravation, would solve nothing and would simply be a waste of energy. So they simply let it go.

    This theory of mine makes sense to me, as much it probably doesn't to anyone else. :mellow:
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