Suicide Ideation vs Serious about Suicide?

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by Pickles, May 24, 2010.

  1. Pickles

    Pickles Account Closed


    I don't know if I am really serious about suicide this time....ready to actually go through with it....or if it is just suicide ideation, as it has been for decades.

    If I am serious, I am not really sure I want to tell my therapist. Because if I am truly serious, I don't want to be stopped and the therapist would ensure I couldn't go through with it. And I don't want to risk that.

    But if I am serious, and some minor part of me still doesn't want me to do it...I would want to tell my therapist, because I would want him to try one last time to help change my mind about doing it. I would want him to please help me....

    But if I am just kidding myself, and still don't have the guts to go through with suicide, and this is just suicide ideation, then I don't want to tell my therapist....because then it is just like crying wolf, more of the same whining....all talk no action. And I don't want to ask for extra help/support if I really have no intention of doing anything at all...if I am not at risk, then I am just wasting his time and making a big deal out of nothing.

    I would welcome any comments you might have - thank you.
  2. dnE ehT

    dnE ehT Well-Known Member

    I was suicidal for several months while seeing my therapist. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be stopped. I didn't want to be helped.

    My last session was the day that I told him, as telling him was a part of my plan. Through careful deceit, everything came together and was working perfectly until I got near the end. I'm only here because that plan failed.

    If part of you doesn't want to die, then tell your therapist. They need to hear how you really feel if you expect therapy to help.
  3. Gina

    Gina Member

    I know I've also wondered the same things you were mentioning. It is a little like a internal philosophy of if you are being true to yourself -- or something like that.
    My experience, which has been extensive, is that you will know if you are really in a depressive episode and you are having serious thoughts of suicide. This is when you should absolutely tell your therapist. Suicide is a huge decision that no matter how many times you feel like doing it or how strongly you feel it might be the right decision, it is just that a decision. So it always comes down to it 'should I' or 'shouldn't I'. Your therapist is there for you to tell that you feel that way and then they will work to help you decide not to. It's already been established that you are depressed. And, depressed people often think about suicide. Sometimes the suicidal feeling become so overwhelming that you need some extra help with them, it's not about being serious or having ideation. When it is bad, you need to absolutely tell your therapist. It has always helped me at least a little to know that I'm not alone with it. This site is great, but it doesn't take the place of your therapist.
    I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for a long long time, and use to have the question that you mentioned. I think this is important and want to mention again, compared to my other experiences, it has always helped me at least a little to tell my therapist and not feel so alone with my thoughts.
  4. VALIS

    VALIS Well-Known Member

    Tell your therapist either way, suicidal ideation is relevant to your treatment whether or not you are actually suicidal. My therapist pointed out that my suicidal ideation seemed to be a kind of obsessive/compulsive, anxious kind of thing... I would just imagine my death, have thoughts frequently slip into my head about how easy it would be to kill myself on the freeway, or to have an accident, or to jump off a building. This may be more of a death anxiety than a death wish.
    Being suicidal is a whole different ballgame, I think it's probably more serious. either way, tell your therapist because it matters a lot to your treatment. Take care
  5. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    I think if you put it to your therapist the way you've worded it here, they will be understanding about it and not do any outside 'intervention' by doing as much as they can with you first. I used to think that if I even slightly mentioned suicide I'd end up in a ward, but I found that even if I desperately wanted to be admitted I might not even get that chance because often the emergency departments are so filled with other patients that they're happy to let you go so long as you give them some sort of reassurance to come back and talk to them again.
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Note that the dude's account is closed.

    However, for others with similar problems: in my experience doctors and psychologists will give you a lot of leeway to reword what you just said if you say something that should get you hospitalized. They know that forcing you into a hospital will likely make your life worse, not better.

    That said, voluntarily hospitalization is probably a good idea for most of us on this board.
  7. jlc20m

    jlc20m Well-Known Member

    Amen to that!!!!! jlc20m:blink: