Suicide in Dreams (possibly triggering)

[Wispiwill]

Hi, I posted about a dream I had a few days ago and it was rightly taken down by the mods - in my enthusiasm to talk about it, I'd failed to consider that detailing what happened in my dream counted as against the rules. So... attempt the second but being more mindful (I hope).

In my dream I had friends (not people I actually know - these were fictional characters taken from tv) who were helping me to do the deed. I got as far as being about to do it when I woke up so I didn't actually get to go through with it. But I was happy in the dream because I knew I was going to.

I'm talking about this because this isn't a normal kind of dream for me. My dreams tend to be anxiety based (lost, alone, trying to do something and being unable to). So for me to feel HAPPY in a dream (let alone that I had actual friends - and in the dream I FELT that I did) is very unusual for me. I admit it's unsettled me quite a bit and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing - especially given that I've been taking more risks lately (mostly spur of the moment things but, you get the idea).

I was wanting other people's thoughts on it - if possible.

 

[may71]

I think it's common for people to find thoughts of suicide appealing or liberating. So I think your dream is just a reflection of that.

 

[1964dodge]

thank you for being mindful of the rules and posting it in a way that doesn't trigger others. i found your post interesting and well thought out. sometimes dreams are just that, dreams. and other times it may be a reflection of your mind as @may71 has said. if it's a rare thing i wouldn't worry about it, but if it starts to happen a lot you may want to speak to a professional. a lot of us think of suicide at times because it will end our pain. but of course that's a lie, it just makes things a lot worse especially for those who know you. keep posting, we are listening to you and we do care. if you ever want to talk feel free to use my inbox...mike.....

 

[Myaing]

Well... dreams are not literal. Try to think in symbols. That is how our subconscious speaks to us. Look into some dream dictionaries, and think what the things you saw mean to you, in your life.

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

I think I had a dream like that years ago and it did feel like a big relief in the dream, I felt so calm, weightless, waking up was disappointing but I don't think it would feel like that in reality ..our natural survival instinct would kick in and we'd be fighting it and despite all the reasons we felt the need to do it I bet in those last moments the good things in your life, no matter how small, would be flashing before your eyes and you'd be trying to fight to stay for those things

I'd been very S and was planning on it years ago, a year later I got severly ill with food poisoning and could've died, it was terrifying and despite previous thoughts in depression when push came to shove I was begging to stay alive

 

[Paisley]

Dreams are a symbolic reflection of what the subconscious part of your mind is thinking about. They aren't a reflection of how reality really is, rather they're your brain trying to work through your innermost emotions and thoughts.

What I'm getting from what you've written is that you feel you would be made happy if you had supportive friends, and you also feel as if suicide is another thing that would make you happy.

Take my analysis for what it's worth (and that is: not much).

 

[Wispiwill]

Thanks to everyone for giving me your opinions. All are gratefully received. It seems that the consensus of opinion is that it's not really anything to worry about. As a habitual worrier, I'll try not to worry about it - but I can't guarantee I'll be successful.

Thanks again.

 

[Mr Pryce]

Hi, I posted about a dream I had a few days ago and it was rightly taken down by the mods - in my enthusiasm to talk about it, I'd failed to consider that detailing what happened in my dream counted as against the rules. So... attempt the second but being more mindful (I hope).

In my dream I had friends (not people I actually know - these were fictional characters taken from tv) who were helping me to do the deed. I got as far as being about to do it when I woke up so I didn't actually get to go through with it. But I was happy in the dream because I knew I was going to.

I'm talking about this because this isn't a normal kind of dream for me. My dreams tend to be anxiety based (lost, alone, trying to do something and being unable to). So for me to feel HAPPY in a dream (let alone that I had actual friends - and in the dream I FELT that I did) is very unusual for me. I admit it's unsettled me quite a bit and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing - especially given that I've been taking more risks lately (mostly spur of the moment things but, you get the idea).

I was wanting other people's thoughts on it - if possible.

DREAMS DO NOT HAVE VALUE AND DONT TAKE THEM SRIOUSLY, WHAT CAUSES YOU TO WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE? THINK ABOUT THAT AND THEN COMBAT IT. FOR EXAMPLE IF YOU FEEL LONELY THEN MAKE FRIENDS. ETC BUT MESSAGE ME.

 

[1964dodge]

@JOSHUAMARTIN PRYCE
first welcome to SF we are a peer community that cares but never judges. please look around and post when you feel comfortable. and we have a good chat section if you prefer real time. and just a heads up all caps equals yelling in most cases.

and i'm basically passively suicidal. i haven't been close to suicide for a long time. i suffer chronic pain and every night i get some pretty bad pain spikes so that's when i think about it, but not seriously. it's like in my mind i have an escape route but i'll never use it...mike...

 

[Ixtab]

My dreams are brutal I wake up cold and sweaty a few times a night. Fans on. Extra sheets. I know dreams can be awful but when you’re awake try to be mindful of the moment you are in instead of the past or interpretation of what the future could be.

Sometimes counting breathe works, sometimes do five of five like notice five things you see, hear five things, feel five things, until you are more grounded in the present.

Trauma does not have to keep happening we can get through it, it’s just hard to remember all this right after coming out of a dream.

I used to write on a paper you’re ok so when I woke up jumpy I’d see it and know. Whatever helps.

 

[Wispiwill]

My dreams are brutal I wake up cold and sweaty a few times a night. Fans on. Extra sheets. I know dreams can be awful but when you’re awake try to be mindful of the moment you are in instead of the past or interpretation of what the future could be.

Sometimes counting breathe works, sometimes do five of five like notice five things you see, hear five things, feel five things, until you are more grounded in the present.

Trauma does not have to keep happening we can get through it, it’s just hard to remember all this right after coming out of a dream.

I used to write on a paper you’re ok so when I woke up jumpy I’d see it and know. Whatever helps.

Sounds like you have a really bad time sleeping. I can't even imagine how bad it must be to go through that. I hope that you can find a way to get things more under control.

Thanks for the suggestions but I don't really have that problem. My normal anxiety dreams don't cause me problems - I'm used to them, I guess. This one unsettled me but I think that's because I was happy in it. I'm not used to feeling that and didn't really know what to do with it.

But thanks again. All help is gratefully appreciated.

 

[Ixtab]

No problem. I was on a medication for years that the side effect is “irregular dreams” and it messed me up pretty bad. So trust me when I tell you I know how unpleasant it can be. Now that I’m on different medication I have good dreams or no dreams occasionally but I still always have the cold sweating. Sleep is hard. I enjoy it when I’m able. According to the Apple bedtime app my weekly average is 5:30 five hours thirty minutes per night.

 

[Wispiwill]

I wish you the best of luck in getting some decent sleep.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're going through this

My dreams are brutal I wake up cold and sweaty a few times a night

I could try to make some suggestions that might help if you'd like

 

[Ixtab]

Sure I have an open mind about it / want it to stop.

 

[may71]

This is a little tricky because the cold sweats mean that there is something going on other than regular insomnia.

You could give the acupressure massage in my signature links a try.
Not everyone can see signatures (smart phones), so I'll copy the links here just in case.
Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety

Seeing an acupuncturist/herbalist would be ideal, but you've mentioned having some issues with medical debt. If you search for acupuncture schools in your area, there might be one that has a teaching clinics. Teaching clinics will sometimes offer free treatments generally, or free treatments with a faculty member in a theater class (this means that the faculty member treats you, and students observe). Theater treatments are not always advertised, so you may have to ask.

Community-style clinics offer treatments in a group setting, and usually charge about $15 per treatment. Even if you can't afford to go on a regular basis, you might want to try one time and see if they can recommend any "home work" for you.

I'm not sure if you want to talk about the medical debt issue, but calling 211 (US and Canada) might be worth a try. Are you getting disability benefits?