I have a theory - well, I have lots of theories. But in particular, I find that thinking about suicide is addictive. I'm not suicidal right now, I don't feel vulnerable or in danger, but I can't stop thinking about it. It's like having a tooth pulled and your tongue keeps going back to the hole. So, what is the fascination? Is it just that suicide is the ultimate control and I need that feeling of control over my life? That seems too simple for the complex feelings that buzz around this knot of cognition.