Suicide is becoming a realistic option for me by the day

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sosotired, Feb 27, 2007.

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  1. sosotired

    sosotired Well-Known Member

    I have gone through my problems in previous posts, basically I have Social Phobia, no life, no job, no friends, I dont go outside! My life is the internet & TV and the likelyhood that I am ever going to lead a normal life again seems remote.

    I never used to be suicidal but it is now becoming likely that this is going to be my way out as I cant go on living in a room glued to the internet and tv, its just depressing and repetitive, I feel like im in that movie Groundhog Day only I dont have the courage to go outside as Bill Murray's character did.

    When I go outside to walk my dog late at night when no one is around I am starting to hope that some car loses control and hits me so that this pain will end.
  2. Jodi

    Jodi Staff Alumni


    so tired sounds like things are feeling real cramped and old for you, and you need to have a better reason to get up in the morning....if I hear ya right, I know its hard, but you can get through this, their is help....lean on us....we're here for you..what can we do to help?..take care...
  3. zusanna

    zusanna Active Member

    i have had social phobia in the past.. when very very depressed, my anxiety around other people reaches all new levels, and i can have panic attacks. i'm also very avoidant.
    i know you and i are not the same person and what i recommend may not help you at all. but i'd still like to tell you how i start to get better from it...

    i make new goals every day. like, today i'll go to the store and get groceries for 20 minutes. or, today i'll sit on my front porch reading a book, smiling at everyone who walks by.. ok that's more of a summertime one.
    eventually leading up to where i start to expand my comfort zone beyond just my house and a few places. it's always very uncomfortable, but i MAKE myself do these things. because i want to get better. it also helps wearing sunglasses. so no one can see my eyes and how anxious or sad they look.

    you said you don't have friends, but do you still keep in touch with family?

    if anything, i will be thinking of you. take care.

  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know what you are going through friend. All my friends exist on the net. And most of them I will never have the chance to meet. That is when suicide became an option for me. It was 2 years ago.

    Look the only person who can break the cycle is you. I have terrible social anxiety I will stare straight up at the sky to avoid greeting another person. I get terrified whenever someone talks to me. But you cannot let fear control you. You have to break the cycle and only you can. If you break the cycle you run the chance of getting what you want.

    Start out slowly, walking your dog during the day. Then after a few months of that smile and maybe say 'hi' to random people. After that try and carry on a conversation just a short chatter one.

    It is a slow process but slow progress is better than no progress. You just need to be patient it is not easy it is terrifying and incredibly difficult. But it gets easier as you go on. You just have to force yourself to do it.
  5. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I also have social anxiety, don't go out much, no friends, girlfriend, etc. I don't have a problem talking to people or going out in public, but just cannot make friends or make a relationship because I know I am so boring, empty and pathetic. And I also am addicted to videogames, computers, internet as you are and I also know that there are many in your situation as well, shy just like you.

    If only there was a way people like you and me could join up in some group and be friends, since we'd have so much in common but are so different from everyone else around us right? I'd like to meet you and Forgotten_Man and other people suffering from social anxiety and whatnot in person since I can identify with you but am different from all the "normal" people surrounding me.

    I can also say that yes, take small baby steps and don't worry about making a lot of progress in a short period of time, take it slow and easy okay? Best of luck to you.
  6. sosotired

    sosotired Well-Known Member

    I just fucking canceled my appointment with a psychologist for the second time in a row by e-mail! I am avoiding going out and talking to people, even those that can help me. I am so fucked up.
  7. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i don't think you're fucked up actually not at all. so there are some things to work on it doesn't make you a fuck up. if you need someone to chat to drop me a line. i'm in the hospital myself right now and it may take a bit to get back to you but i'll be there. i believe in you you can make it
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