Next time I'm going out I'm buying my suicide kit. I have no hope about anything, anymore, and I no longer want to try. I just want to end this life so I can try again in my next life... and find my real true love. If anyone wonders how I got here... just read my old posts... go to my profile and search for them, there. But to put it short, my ex-girlfriend was unfaithful to me. We never even got to meet so I never lost my virginity to her - an event that would've required me to end my life, now - but apparently, things aren't ever going to be good for me, anyway. I'm too different to be able to be happy. Almost found the happiness I wanted with my ex, but it was all just fake. Maybe this all is just spiritually paving the way for me to find my real true love in my next life? That might perhaps be it. I always thought I was going to find my true love in this life but I guess I was wrong. I was wrong about my ex, after all... although I did often feel that true love isn't supposed to be the way we had things. If this is it, though... then I wonder why I had all my prophetic dreams in the first place... so fucked up, in that case. If I am meant to die, soon, they meant nothing. Just nothing..... I'd have a hard time accepting that, even when I'd be dying.... it just makes no sense.