I don't even know what suicide means to me, anymore. And I doubt this to be a "good" thing. Before, it was a primitive way out. It was supposed to be used, as an end, after months of research and training. A few days before, I was hospitalized. And everything was warped. For awhile after that, suicide stood as a rebellion, a big "up yours" to everyone. But that faded. Now, I am stuck in a fog, and every time I close my eyes, I wistfully watch <mod edit-gentlelady-methods> And I want it... but there is no reason. Suicide, even it's impact, means nothing to me. I just feel horrible, right now. My face should be burned off.