Suicide Methods

[janikowski]

Hello. I am considering suicide. I am too nervous and or lazy to go looking for methods online. I was wondering if anyone here has considered suicide methods for potential scenarios in the future. If so, I'd love to hear them.

I've thought firearms were a good way, but, I can't legally own a gun. I don't want to do drugs because I don't want to damage my organs and end up worse off than before.

Since I figure people will ask me why I am pondering suicide: I am afraid that my roomate is spiking my food with an unknown substance. Everytime I eat food that I have left alone in the kitchen, I subsequently feel a really strong headache. I also feel like I cannot think straight.

I am frightened that, if I am being poisoned, then it will cause permanent and or debilitating brain damage. I also have an oddly specific fear of developing certain schizophrenic symptoms like auditorty or visual hallucinations as a result of this "drug-induced brain damage". I'm not sure I'd want to live with that. I want options.

I have numerous thoughts and feeling that are driving me nuts. The perceived lack of control, feelings of betrayl, fear of the unknown.

I know that I cannot scientifically confirm or disprove wether or not I am being poisoned, so I feel like I'll never really know, which makes me feel bad.

I already tried talking to my roomate about this. He said he isn't poisoning me, but I don't believe him because he is schizophrenic and has lied to me before. I also don't believe him because I don't like trusting most people.

I know that I have a paranoia problem. Often, I get intuitive feelings that something may cause me harm, and I also will often get strong psychosomatic reactions related to my fears. For instance, yesterday, I was afraid that my jacket had been sprayed with pesticides. Everytime I put the jacket on, my skin started to hurt, even if I was wearing several layers of clothing underneath it. With regards to the so-called food poisoning, everytime I eat food that has been left alone in the kitchen, I get a strong headache and feel "brain fog", even if I try hard not to think about being poisoned.

The problem with this process is that it is very counterintuitive. If one eats something and feels bad afterwards on multiple occassions, it seems reasonable that one might think the food (or whatever external factor) is the cause. Hypothetically, if all these reactions I am having to the food are the result of a mental disorder, then that means that my "symptoms" are psychosomatic in origin. Its very confusing, and makes it alot harder for me to know what is "real".

Anyways, that is why I am posting here. Please list any suicide methods you think would be effective, not too gory, and not too difficult to arrange.

Also, please don't suggest going to a therapist or psychiatrist as I've already done both.

Thanks.

 

[janikowski]

Actually, I'm alright now. I wish I hadn't felt compelled to go this far, but I'm okay now. I don't want any suicide methods. I'm just gonna try to go with the flow and accept the possibilites that I was poisoned, althought it does seem a bit unlikely that I would be poisoned.

 

[janikowski]

I am feeling really hopeless. I feel like if my food was poisoned, I consumed way too much this time. Usually when I think something is poisoned, I don't eat that much. However, I ate the whole pot of food that I suspected was poisoned. I feel horrible. Being poisoned is one of my greatest fears.

I don't know what to do. I wish I could do something satisfying and or effective about this situation. I already called a hotline, posted here............. nothing is working.

I know that pain is created from our attachments to things, but I can't seem to help myself right now. This "possibility of being poisoned" has struck a nerve so deep within me that I cannot think about anything else. Its who and or what I am right now. I feel like a poisoned person. I'm growing increasingly angry with each word typed right here because I feel worse with each passing second, probably because I know that no amount of typing here or talking anywhere else will likely lead to me knowing the truth.

 

[Kiba]

tbh this site does not promote suicide and methods aren't allowed to be talked about. This site is pro-life. :hug: But I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. Maybe stick around and talk to some people here about some similar issues. Maybe get some advice on how to handle it or what to try. Might be helpful.

 

[jxdama]

why would someone poison you?

 

[TooShyToScream]

How about you just get your own food or cook or your own food? It sounds like you have OCD to me.

If you're that worried that you were already poisoned, see a doctor and they'll confirm otherwise. I think that if you were truly poisoned, you'd feel more than a headache. The headache is probably from stress and worry.

 

[WildCherry]

It might help you, at least for now, to prepare your own food for a while. That way, you'll relieve some of the stress and worry about whether someone is trying to poison you. Here if you feel like talking.

 

[Stranger1]

I know how you feel with paranoia.. I suffer from a seveere case of it also..My pdoc put me on skyzo meds and it helps some..I don't see things anymore and the voices aren't as bad..I doubt that your roommate is poisoning you.. You really should seek professional help.. Or go to the hospital and have your blood tested..It will give you some peace of mind..

 

[solutions]

Not allowed to help you on effective and ineffective suicide methods. But what I think I can say is that if you do attempt suicide, and you fail, you risk complications that make you feel worse than before, particularly with some methods over others. I mean, like, permanent damage. There's one method that about 75% of people try when attempting, and it can often cause brain and/or organ damage. What I'm implying is that killing yourself is a lot harder than it makes itself out to be, and the consequences of a failed attempt could really fuck you up, forever.

On the poisoning issue, that's a myriad of things going on. You'll want counsel from your GP to first make sure there are no foreign substances in your body, that you're not sick, and that your symptoms are not consistent with the data they gather. If it turns out you're fine, talk it out with a therapist experienced in your type of issue. He or she will be able to talk it out evenly with you to find a solution to the problem.

 

[Chalmers]

You really should see a doctor. They can do a hair follicle test for poisons and any other drugs. The results would show anything that has occurred in a while. If you're not being poisoned you should see about getting some help. I just started meds and I am feeling much better.

 

[janikowski]

How could I get a doctor to perform/authorize a hair follicle test? If I go in there and tell them the truth, that I think I'm being poisoned, won't they just refer me to the nearest psych ward?

 

[solutions]

How could I get a doctor to perform/authorize a hair follicle test? If I go in there and tell them the truth, that I think I'm being poisoned, won't they just refer me to the nearest psych ward?

No, they won't. Keep this in mind: Doctors take oaths to help their patients. If you go in and say you think you've been poisoned, they will not instantly label you as crazy (even if it's in the backs of their minds).

It's in their best interest to help you properly. Hypothetically, if you really are being poisoned, and they chose to refer you to a psychiatrist or something, and you suffer permanent effects from this poison, the doctor's ass is on the line. The last thing a doctor wants is a malpractice suit.

So, no, I don't think they'll turn you away just like that. The worst that can happen is they'll label you a hypochondriac, AFTER they've exhausted their tests.