I looked over the forum here and didn't see any other postings about the type of situation I find myself in. I feel extremely bad about what I've done and am thinking that suicide may be the only way to save my family. I suffer from anxiety and depression and have been in treatment for years. I have a wife and a ten year old daughter. Last year in February my wife kicked me out of the house for panicking and going to the hospital (I thought my heart was damaged after a panic attack). She had previously told me that if I went, then not to come home again. So now, I am living at my parents where I have a bed, some bowling balls and a closet. My wife will not let me come back home and I have only been able to see my daughter for a couple hours a week during the last year when we meet with my wife. She will not get a divorce and I am the sole provider of income. Due to my depression and anxiety I have been having problems at work and I am likely to lose my job and not be able to find another one (I am often sick or unable to work). So it looks like I am doomed to live with my parents for the rest of my life (I am 46) since I can't afford to support both of us, even if I keep my job or find one that pays as well. My daughter says she misses me occasionally but other than that shows no signs of distress. My wife has no interest in any relationship with me in the future. My two closest friends left me after they heard about what happened. If I lose my job, we will lose our house (which was my wife's dream), my daughter will suffer terribly as well as my wife. I will end up either living with my parents as a leech on disability or in an institution, and will probably never get to see my daughter again. I have a very good insurance policy of over 1 million dollars and it's been over 2 years, so we can collect. I know it would hurt people around me to kill myself, but it seems like the pain caused by becoming an invalid and being cut off from my daughter (my wife would make sure she never saw me), is not that different - either one is a nightmare for everyone involved. It seems it might be better to have closure than just to drag out this ruin across years of other people's lives. I hope I am not convincing anyone to agree with me - I am hoping there is something I am not seeing clearly here.